Affect. "A" for the action, "E" for the result.

Deb, I am bookmarking this, because I always get the two confused.

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I thought my love for buffistas was huge...yet it grows!

I think I fixed the Angel lines. Short sentences. To the point. Not 'splainy.

Have a look for unneeded words - the characters rock, the story is sound, so why would it need padding?

Ple tried to get this point across in the first beta she did for me and it didn't stick. Which is goofy since it makes so much sense and I can point it out when I read a book but not when I write the words myself. Thanks, Deborah.

Oh, fixed Prada passage also. That was something I never would have known. The Prada, she's expensive. The Nicole, she is cheap and owns one pair of heels.

I'm refraining from comment at the moment because I'm in a weird headspace.

Beverly, no rush. I can wait.

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And Plei, she is wise.

Nicole, if it helps, this specifically:

Angel continued, now somewhat calmer, "Wesley was attempting to help in your absence. There was no reason to insult his efforts."

is the one that jarred me. The only way he'd use that level of formality is if he was being sarcastic. But you've just calmed him down, right there at the beginning of the speech.

Be Angel for just about ten seconds; put the coat on and say that line in his voice. Bet you can't do it. If you can, you're doing something I can't - I can hear him saying "Wes was TRYYYYYing....." But "attempting to help in your absence", I just can't wrap Angel around.

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Yeah, he'd just say "trying to help since you weren't here," probably.

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Voices for extant characters are tricky suckers, aren't they? My two trouble-children are Cordelia and Dru. Odd, because they're both intensely female. With Dru, it's just her kind of whack isn't my kind of whack, so there's little psychospiritual dribble-over. But Cordy - I can't write her properly. Whereas Roz Kaveney gives some sensational Cordy, you bet.

Giles, I can write in my sleep. I basically went to school with him, right down to the generation within a year or two, and his type is all over Oxford, so he's like the boy next door for me.

I do love a good, true Cordy voice.

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Beverly, no rush. I can wait.

Beverly, I just realized that what I said yesterday could be seen as dismissive and I'm hoping it wasn't read that way. I just meant that I had quite a bit of re-writes to do and the next portion of the story was on hold.

Very, very interested for any feedback you have.

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Another exciting weekend. But I've learned that I can't type something without changing it...I've revised some of the early scenes in my AU. Anybody want to see them? I think they are better.

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I would love to read anything you write, erika. I wouldn't be much help in the way of editing or suggestions but still...

Also, have you ever read Armistead Maupin's 'Maybe The Moon'? Your hard hitting yet humorous writing reminds me the way he wrote for his character Cadence.

If not, I have a copy that I would be happy to send you. Excellent book.

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Whoo-hoo? erika, you want a beta, or are you posting changes?

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I need help.
If someone is in a coma and is subconsciously contacting people through their dreams, would it be a dreamscape? I tried looking at sites online about dreams but most of them just want to tell you what your dreams mean. For money, of course.

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