And, mmph, maybe my story wasn't so bad on its own, even though the style's overdone, the way, you know, a chapter of Diary isn't so bad on its own. But it's still a cheap lyricism, and there's only so long, as an artist, one can coast on that.
Because your story was fan fic, Liz, I think that changes things. You benefit from it, in that we have the very well drawn, well defined characters in our head. All the foundation work has been done by ME. So I think you can use lyricism in fan fic, and it will be easier, but not cheap for your reader. It might be cheap for you, with regards to your sweat-equity in the story, thanks to ME footing the bill for us up front, but again, not overall, not for the reader. Fan fic starts out cheating. We know this, though. It's sort of written off. We all know it's a cheat. But we all get the same starting advantage, and what matters is where you take it.
...
deb -- GAH! I love the change. "Change" isn't right there, I don't know how to put it, but the way Angelus flows into Angel. That was gorgeous. Thank you.
After Wesley leaves, she puts the dishes in the sink and carries her son to the living room, where she sings the periodic table of elements to him to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, because if it works for the alphabet, it should work for chemistry. The dried flower arrangement on the coffee table catches her eye, and Fred reminds herself to hide it or throw it away before Wesley comes over for dinner. She owes a lot to those flowers, more than she can risk having revealed.
This is how I finally got to appreciate Fred. Not this story, but that she has this in her. Fred would be Tabula Raza-ing left and right, and you're right, she'd get away with it.