Okay. Thanks for the clarification. You might want to indicate that, unless the rest of the story spells it out enough.

deb - I'd already read the Xander wish in your LJ and loved it. In Which Spike Acquires a Coat is also delicious. You say so much in 100 words.

but in this guise, hungry as a vicious bear

Love that description!

...

Victor - where does your Manchild/BtVS Cross-Over Fic begin? I've read from when Faith was on the phone with Buffy and there was the confusion about James/Giles being tied up. I love it. Need more. Am too far behind in BF to find my way.

SA - I loved Buffy finding the Watchers' diaries. Like Beverly, their relationship is my favorite on the show.

Cindy! You made me turn pink!

If I ever get a day where I can bend my back (it's completel talky meat right now) and two minutes without errands, I'll finish the Ethan's Bad Day. As I say, Ethan is being screwed with, and, at athe moment, it isn't by Buffy, poor silly man with far too man enemies.

Cindy, Part one is at:

victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 17, 2003 2:17:40 am PDT

But it still may be hard to find the rest of it. Plei will have it up at some point soon, if you get lost.

SA - I loved Buffy finding the Watchers' diaries. Like Beverly, their relationship is my favorite on the show.

Thank you!

Cindy! You made me turn pink!

Fair enough, deb. I just read One Thing That Should Have Happened in Sunnydale, and am sitting here, crying for poor, foamy Tara at 5:25 am. Dammit. That totally should have happened. You asked for crit, but I have none. I love how your Warren: darkness with a gun.

(for all the other skippers and skimmers, deb's short is at: deborah grabien "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 17, 2003 2:31:35 pm PDT)

I have the fantasy crossover in my head, where it turns out Luther Mahoney is actually a vampire. But I'm never going to write it, because Luther Mahoney was better written and better portrayed than any other TV villain in history, and I don't mess with perfection.

Oh dear me. Yes. But you're right - already perfection. (I'd still read your vamp!Luther though, because he totally was a vampire. Now I feel like season 5 Buffy, arguing about Rasputin with her history professor. That would be a fun take on non-paranormal-'verse shows - taking hard-to-catch villains and showing there was really something else going on, the whole time. Whee!)

...

Okay, an hour ago, I started Nillying Victor's serial. Then I found myself reading and Nillying it. Then I found myself giving much fawning feedback, while reading, and Nillying, so that all will live in its own, separate post.

A Nilly (with feedback) of When You Are Tired of London, by victor infante

Part One: Blood Is Thicker...
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 17, 2003 2:17:40 am PDT

“Language!” said Buffy, in mock horror. “You’re gonna burst a scone. So, you have a wacky, identical cousin. From England! Will there be hijinks?”

Whee! Victor, that's fun dialogue. I haven't watched Manchild all that much, but you've hit James so far. What a great idea.

...

Part Two: Dooooomed!
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 24, 2003 12:03:28 am PDT

"Good," said Giles. "Buffy, you'll interview his friend Terry, and I'll talk to Patrick. Then we'll converge and see what we can discover of his," Giles adopted a disgusted look, "liaisons."

"Are you sure that's a good idea," said James. "Sending a young lady alone to talk to Terry? I mean she..."

This is fantastic, because as soon as I read Giles' line, I thought, "Sending a young woman to Terry, Giles? Not so wise." Heh.

...

Part Three: Xander’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 25, 2003 11:37:12 pm PDT

Plus, he’d get to see the unaired episodes of Firefly, which was a plus.

I am subtle, well-placed meta's bitch. Love this.

“Right, cause that’s a load of bullocks if you are. James is my mate, and I’d never hurt a hair on his head. Don’t care how many models he parades in front of me, even with a dodgy wanker!”

“Whoah!” said Xander, “Too much information!” He placed a comforting hand on Gary’s shoulder. “We’re just gathering information. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

I now, officially want victor to write us a season's worth of Manchild/BtVS, to help fill the BtVS-shaped hole in our lives.

...

Part Four: Willow’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 28, 2003 11:43:52 pm PDT

“Did you…”

“Well, of course I did,” said Elizabeth. “Couldn’t resist, really. Never pass up an opportunity to let them know who’s on top.”

At this point, to paraphrase a line of poetry, Willow wasn’t certain whether she wanted to be this woman, fuck her, or run screaming from the room.

She took another sip of wine while deciding.

Oh, Victor! This is delicious. I also like that the thought of Kennedy held no resonance for Willow. I believe that. It's a truth, you know?

...

Part Five: James’ Morning
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 29, 2003 11:59:27 pm PDT

He let the thought go. He wondered what sort of school this was, but then, it had always been strange schools with that side of the family.

On occasion, James’ mother spoke of how her sister, his aunt, had suddenly one day begun private tutoring. And then, there was the odd academy that Rupert had been sent off to—none he’d ever heard of, but evidently prestigious enough to get him enrolled in Oxford, even with his dubious behavior record.

“Rupert was cool back then,” thought James, recalling just how much he wanted to be like him. The wild parties, the dangerous friends, the running away to London. James always harbored a knot of jealousy toward Rupert. Even when he suddenly returned to school, transformed into a model student, he was cool. Soon after graduation, he was traveling the world for the museum, his life one seeming adventure after another.

I adore all of this. I love CoW continuity. I love seeing Ripper and young Giles from someone else's POV.

His revelry was disturbed by the sound of someone moving about in the adjoining chamber. Startled, he spilled a few drops of coffee on the table. Not seeing a cloth nearby, he soaked it up with the Book Review section.

Oh, and I love being shown so gracefully why James can never be Giles. That was just elegant, Victor. I wish you'd written this in May, when we were having the show-don't-tell discussions in Buffy NAFDA.

“James, Dawn. We met last night?”

“What are you talking about?” asked Dawn.

Oooh. The thot plickens. I'm excited, even though I know how it ends. This is one of the benefits of being a forgetful spoiler companion.

...

Part Six: Giles’ Morning
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 10, 2003 9:15:22 am PDT

Giles didn’t bother to hide his annoyance, but relief overtook him when he found the gallery he was looking for. It was one of those “contemporary” galleries, where—and he was quite certain of this—those bearing too much money and too little taste purchased formless sculptures as part of an elaborate practical joke perpetrated by the city’s artistic elite. He entered, and Buffy followed.

This is dreamy! Your Giles is so very Giles. In reading the comments and your responses, I know you were overtaken by your Xander!voice muse while writing, as well as your snarky!Giles, and this is a good thing. Your Giles is just spot on.

Giles laughed, gently.

Wow. To a Buffy fan? That line is almost as evocative as Jesus wept. Beautiful image.

Part Six - Cont'd
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 10, 2003 9:16:06 am PDT

Now Patrick is all confused. Fun!

...

see next post for more victor fic Nillying

Cont'd: A Nilly (with feedback) of When You Are Tired of London, by victor infante

Part Seven: Faith’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 12, 2003 11:13:17 pm PDT

Only bit of criticism so far - Faith is a little too slangy for me in this section that takes place in Giles' office. I say this as someone who cannot write Faith to save my life. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's off. Maybe lose one of the times she calls him James G-Man? I think M.E.'s Faith starts out slangy when she's broaching a subject, and then it lessens. Since she doesn't have the vocabulary she should, she never loses it completely, but she usually tones it down after her initial outburst.

“Yes…Slayer…what’s a… never mind.” He reached a hand up to her shoulder, and pulled her close for a kiss. Their lips pressed against each other for a moment, and soon she had slid down from the desk and was straddling him on the chair.

Lovely! I'm squicked on Faith's behalf, because she starts out thinking this is Giles, and still compelled at the same time.

“You…are the most…incredible….” He started to say, but Faith kissed him again. Her hand caressed his leg, and then ran up his neck, to his throat.

*squick/wibble*

Suddenly, he realized her fingers were wrapped around his throat, and she was standing, hoisting him one-handed up above her head.

“So tell me, lover boy,” she said. “Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with Giles?”

Yay Faith!!!

...

Part Eight: Buffy’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 16, 2003 4:43:29 pm PDT

(This is where I came in the first time)

Which was funny, she thought, because just about every mystic bad-ass over the age of 25 that she knew came from the British Isles. Giles, Angel, Spike, Wesley. Every member of the Watcher’s Council she’d ever met. Baddies like Drusilla and Ethan Rayne.

“It’s like they manufacture them here,” she thought, “and America imports them. Like how all the toys are made in China, but no one there actually buys gorillas that dance to La Macarena or bendy rubber cowboys or whatever. Huh.

“Maybe it’s a geopolitical thing,” she wondered. “Like, Britain was once the seat of world power, so all the mystical-type things congregated there, to be where the action was, and then when power moved to America, everything started trickling over. Huh.

I love all of this. I love the nod to show canon. I love that your Buffy is bright, and *differently-abled* as far as being articulate goes. I get tired of reading dim or shallow Buffies, because M.E.'s Buffy is neither. She just processes things differently, and doesn't waste her time on things that don't interest her.

"Oh yes. Idolizes the man. Don’t know why, really. Anyways, after dinner, I know I know this wonderful little place. Wonderful jazz pianist…”

Buffy began delicately folding the spoon into an accordion shape. Terry stopped talking.

Love this! Love.

“None!” said Terry, wondering how such a small woman could change from being so…girlish to so…intimidating so suddenly. It was as though, all of a sudden, she was remarkably… present. It was unnerving.

Ditto.

Part Eight - Cont'd
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 16, 2003 4:43:29 pm PDT

...

Part nine: Terry’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 18, 2003 11:44:54 pm PDT

“By one’s thirties and forties, the search for adventure is eclipsed by life’s responsibilities, the demands of a job and a family. But by one’s fifties, once one is freed of the shackles of marriage and children, and when one has enough financial freedom…well, such a man can savor the pleasures he once considered but was forced to pass over.

“Take, for instance, breaking and entering.”

I've watched just enough Manchild to *hear* Terry saying this, and see him nervously look all around, as he does. Brilliant.

...

Part Ten: The Parlor Scene
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 21, 2003 9:30:38 am PDT

“Nice necklace,” she said. “Looks expensive.”

“It would be,” said Caterina, cattily. “It’s an antique. A family heirloom.”

Should 'It would be,' be changed, either to 'It would,' (as in, It would look expensive because it is) or 'It is'? 'It would be' isn't sitting right with me, for some reason.

“Ah,” he said. “Wilde once said that when you are tired of London, you’re tired of life.”

“It was Samuel Johnson,” said Giles, causing all of James’ friends to stare at him in amazement. Sheepishly, he added, “everyone makes that mistake.”

Prettily done.

“C’mon now, Elizabeth,” said Xander. “Don’t you ever wish…”

[...]

Moving with a violent explosion of speed, Buffy suddenly reached out and tore the necklace from Caterina’s neck.

Yipee!

“Right, but how did you recognize her?” asked Giles.

Xander shrugged. “She was at my wedding.” “Oh. Right,” said Giles.

“She was… bumpier then.”

Nicely plotted, Victor. Excellent.

Part 10 - Cont'd
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 21, 2003 9:31:29 am PDT

“Reveal!” incanted Willow. There was a flash of light, and suddenly Ethan Rayne was standing there amid them, looking a bit confused.

Whee! Ethan, we've been waiting for you since early season 7.

“Well, you have to admit it almost worked,” said Ethan. “Caterina was about to curse James there with a nasty growing curse or something, but I interceded. Figured I’d have a bit of fun at Ripper’s expense. Almost trapped James in that dreadfully boring life of Rupert’s, while Rupert was supposed to be tempted by the cheap allure of easy women and booze. Would have worked, too, if it hadn’t been for…

Yes! Ethan is sooooo the Scooby Doo arch-villain, isn't he!

...

Great fun, victor. Now I have to go explain to the husband why - regardless of the fact that I was up by 4:30 am,

dammit - still too long - I was just going to say I have to explain why he hasn't seen me all morning, and I have to do this before he leaves. :)

...

edited much later to put in all the nillied links without the feedback. I suspect that'll be more useful to readers.

A Nilly of When You Are Tired of London, by victor infante

Part One: Blood Is Thicker...
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 17, 2003 2:17:40 am PDT

Part Two: Dooooomed!
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 24, 2003 12:03:28 am PDT

Part Three: Xander’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 25, 2003 11:37:12 pm PDT

Part Four: Willow’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 28, 2003 11:43:52 pm PDT

Part Five: James’ Morning
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Jul 29, 2003 11:59:27 pm PDT

Part Six: Giles’ Morning
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 10, 2003 9:15:22 am PDT

Part Six - Cont'd
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 10, 2003 9:16:06 am PDT

Part Seven: Faith’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 12, 2003 11:13:17 pm PDT

Part Eight: Buffy’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 16, 2003 4:43:29 pm PDT

Part Eight - Cont'd
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 16, 2003 4:43:29 pm PDT

Part Nine: Terry’s Day
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 18, 2003 11:44:54 pm PDT

Part Ten: The Parlor Scene
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 21, 2003 9:30:38 am PDT

Part Ten (of 10) - Cont'd
victor infante "Bitchy Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies" Aug 21, 2003 9:31:29 am PDT

...

Again victor, this was excellent. Thank you.

I'm hoping that putting this out in a new place will jar me into working out what has to happen next. It's another Buffy/Smallville crossover, currently titled The Two Alexanders. Guess who stars?

- - -

Alone in his echoing office, Lionel Luthor studied the list of small plants he could send his son to. "Sallyton? No; nothing ever goes wrong there. Smallville? Maybe a little too weird. Sunnydale? Better. Not that it matters a lot."

He picked up the phone, hit a speed dial button, and tapped his fingers impatiently as he waited for an answer.

"Lex? Pack your bags. You're going to take over the plant in Sunnydale."

• * *

"Your father's a lucky man, Mr Luthor," the plant manager said, unaware that Lex was sending death glares at the back of his head. "I wish my sons would follow me, but—well, let me put it this way. Tucker is bad and Andrew's worse."

Lex smiled thinly, reminding himself that there was no point annoying the locals at this stage in the game. "Thanks for showing me round the plant, Mr Wells. I think I can find my way out from here."

Since they'd just reached the main door out into the car park, Mr Wells had to agree—Lex's car was twenty yards away, if that. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow morning, Mr Luthor."

"Of course," Lex nodded, shook hands, and left, wondering what passed for a night life in a town this small.

• * *

The Bronze, apparently.

Well, there had probably been less hopeful names in the history of evenings out. If you counted 'Ugh's Cave' as a nightclub.

Lex drove on past and up to the castle, figuring that he could explore and then drink alone.

It wasn't a pretty place, but—he had to hand it to his father—it was dramatic. Ill-suited to the town, overly romantic, bought ready-furnished some years ago despite a measure of vandalism, never altered, and practically straight out of Stoker.

The very idea of a vampire living here made Lex chuckle as he unlocked the huge wooden door and swung it—creaking—open. Sunnydale could probably use the enlivening influence of a few vampire fantasies.

• * *

He slept badly that night, dreaming of things he had once felt but could barely remember, and went into the plant prepared to give his staff their first taste of his bad temper.

To find, in a twist both bemusing and bizarre, that the building was alive with the sound of music.

The workers on the factory floor danced their way through the rhythms of the machines with the aid of some sort of electro-rock. The accountants trilled harmonies as they balanced the books. Even his secretary spun him into some sort of good-morning song, with trumpet and tap-dancing.

She seemed rather embarrassed about it afterwards, and he didn't want to dwell on the things he'd sung, so he chose to ignore the whole thing.

Otherwise, the day was fine to the point of boredom. If hidden orchestras could ever be boring.

• * *

The first couple of weeks rushed by—work, sleep, gradual resignation to living here for nearly forever—until one evening he realised that he'd done everything he could for the plant, he wasn't tired, the castle was dull, and he still knew next to nothing about the town.

He picked up a set of car keys, and headed out… but standing on the drive, looking down the hill towards the centre of town, he decided it was so small a place that he'd be better to walk, and not worry about parking it.

And even in the near-dark, it wasn't like anyone would attack him.

• * *

The streets were quiet—strangely so, he thought, even for a town this size. There were shops, selling basic things, and one at the end of the high street called 'The Magic Box', which looked… still quite boring, even though it sold what should be exotic things.

A museum, which he recognised from a glimpse of the local news. A diamond had been stolen a couple of nights ago. He'd wondered whether to try and get into touch with whoever had managed to freeze a person alive, and then been swamped with work.

Where was everyone? There should be some people out on the streets—no homeless, no teenagers, no one taking an evening stroll…

There was someone there, in the bushes. This was the graveyard.

Hold on. They're lurking in the *graveyard*?

Seems so. They stepped out, and Lex could see a little better: tall, dark-haired, good looking, wearing baggy clothes that were more than a little dirty. "Hi," the stranger said.

Lex looked at him. Worth the risk? "Hi."

"Are you looking for something?" The man was moving closer.

"I was wondering if there was any sort of nightlife out here," Lex replied, shrugging. The man was getting close to invading his personal space, and it was beginning to make him uncomfortable.

"Nightlife?" A little laugh, leaning in until Lex could smell the man's breath. "Let me whisper." The man's hand was cold on his arm—his breath was in his ear—a growl—pain—Lex struck out, wildly, all fencing moves forgotten, shoving the invader away from him.

"You can't get away from me, idiot," the man said, and there was something wrong with his face. Long teeth, bumps on his forehead. Lex's mind flashed on the thought he'd had as he entered the castle—that this town was ripe for vampires—and then he dismissed it firmly. This was a man, a human, living, breathing, maybe a little deformed or crazy but no real danger.

Lex shoved again with all his strength, but he was no match for his attacker. The fangs curved into his neck, and he started to scream—only to find, a panicked heartbeat later, that the deformed man was gone, and someone else stood there: not quite in his place, but close.

"Are you alright?" the newcomer asked, pocketing something wooden. "Did he… he did. Here, press that where he bit you."

Dazed, Lex accepted a clean cloth, and pressed it to his neck. "He… bit me. What the fuck…?"