Thanks for the edits. I'll fix them tomorrow. Part of the problem is my mouse is broken, and I'm using a wacom tablet. No good with the thing whatsoever. Thus, messy.

Eh. I've been proof reading a lot lately, so things that most people wouldn't see jump out at me.

I imagine they'd be hard to follow for you, with the cross-culturality and not seeing the show.

You're not wrong. It'll be easier, though, when they're finished and I can read them all the way through. 'Tis the way it goes.

Victor, wonderful stuff. I had a list of edits, but Perkins got almost all of them. Only

“Where have you been.”

was left-- question mark at the end?

I can't wait to see what happens next-- and I love the breaking-and-entering section at the start.

Tep, I've got some HLotS we can watch while you're down.

Speaking of which, just came across this small bit of what's essentialyl fan fic from Poppy Z. Brite. BAsically, it's Poppy/South Park creators slash:

My friend Alex Dollard has some Poppy Z. Brite fanfiction. Well, one. I still don't know quite what it/she is.

Victor, I remain fascinated and bemused....

I have only one edit to add

Monologs

Should be 'monologues'

My friend Alex Dollard has some Poppy Z. Brite fanfiction. Well, one. I still don't know quite what it/she is.

SA, you don't know who Poppy Z. Brite is? I'm confused...

If you don't she's an author who wrote a vampire book called Lost Souls and another book w/out vampires but still involving the supernatural called Drawing Blood. There are others but I haven't read them. Jilli is a big fan. She likes Souls better but I prefer Blood. The latter has a glimmer of light in it, the former is pretty damn dark all the way through.

I just read Lost Souls, so those characters are fresh in my mind. Tell Alex I said 'bravo.' Goodness knows I was waiting for that moment all through the book.

Ah, new batteries in the mouse. Edits made to story. All is right with the world.

I like Poppy Z.

More edits for Victor:

They’ll be something. There’s always something.”

There'll be..

It had been along time since he was comfortable talking to strange women.

a long time

but he woman’s eyes fixed on him immediately.

the woman's

Giles could see a definite advantage for being mistaken for James.

in being

Victor, can't wait for the rest.

Erika, still loving it. I didn't even notice the profanity, which, in my mind, means it's about the right level for the kind of story you're writing. It's not like you're writing children's lit.

Tim was back at the squad, typing what felt like reams of case files and notes.More scut for the new guy. So what if it's been a year, and he has a degree. Tim sighed. "Sipowicz didn't start out this way." he mumbled.

He heard the unmistakable ring of his cell.("Onward Christian Soldiers", somebody's idea of a joke.)

"Bayliss,"

"Tim? Something wicked bad happened at the motor lodge.Can you come over?"

"How did you get this number?" Way to focus on the important stuff, Tim.

"Told somebody at the front desk that I was your sister, and that my big brother was too busy looking like somebody died to give his new number to little sis. They knew it was you, right away. Bitchin', huh?"

Even though she did sound really upset, she took some pleasure in her little con. "Yeah, that's bitchin' Faith. Very clever. Tell me about the motor lodge now."

"Well, that's really something you should see for yourself." She sounded like a different person. Pleasant, even. It scared him a little.

"Faith? Is somebody there with you?" He got silence as a response. He never will get used to the absence of a dial tone.

SA, you might like Poppy's work, also Caitlin R. Kiernan. Caitlin is an old net friend of mine.