Hey Plei; I'm sorry for no feedback last night. I couldn't, exactly. It was one of those pairings I never even thought of, so it just made me go, "oh. Wow. That seems wrong somehow."
I'm a little more functional today.
a) what Deb said. Jeeze you can make anything hot, can't you?
b)
Black and white got him bruised and battered and damn near killed when they collided in a haze of grey and made the line between Good and Evil get fuzzy. He's stopped going to church, he's not sure how he feels about his country, and even if he knows how he feels about the girl, his feelings aren't the ones that make or break things.
I understand why the tense change here, but it did make my brain stutter, maybe it could be done in two paragraphs or something?
c.
He wonders again why they've let this particular Hostile live. Buffy'd probably tell him it was "complicated" or something like that, some excuse that rings false to Riley's ears. And everything Spike's said tonight is true.
I'm wondering. It seems to me he believes he knows why she let him live, so why "wonders" why not, "bets he knows" or something.
d.
It takes a moment for the implication to sink in, and while Spike's busy puzzling it out
what about something like: "taking it in" instead of puzzling it out. In my head, puzzling takes a little longer and Spike started it, so puzzling doesn't quite fit, for me.
e. What. Deb. Said.
f.
Riley pushes his cock inside Spike's ass
I expected either some super-vampire-strength resistance, or for him to require some sort of lube. brain-stutter again.
g.
Riley closes his eyes and tightens his grip on Spike's shoulders. He can feel the sharpness of bone through his palms, digging into the skin. Can feel the slide of his own sweat against skin that only gets wet by artificial means. Spike smells like smoke and whisky and nothingness. Oblivion. Riley stops holding back.
whew. just. whew.
f.
"It's over," he finally says. "You've seen to that."
perfect.