Oh, yeah, duh. I remember that one, and liked it very much.

And I wonder if he's not a touch young to be very much into MP.

t meek

I'm younger than Andrew....

Seriously, I think Andrew would really know Monty Python. Everybody in my fifth-grade class knew them, I mean, in the way they knew if something was a Beatles song. It's just a mass-culture thing you knew.

But you might not immediately recognise one of the sketches? Hmm? Don't be harshing my buzz.

Dudes, my daughter (now 24) can quote great reams of MP. She likes them and knows them better than I do.

I remember getting into a snappy back and forth with her, aged about fourteen, and she came back with "I came here for an argument! That's a contradiction!" and I lost it. End of snappy.

Nick knows LOTS more MP than I do, but then, so does Greg. One's 17 and the other's 39.

I know a lot of MP, but plenty of folk don't. And I stick by my theory of Andrew as a one-dimensional geek.

edited because, my goodness, I just noticed that I had it being the Ministry of Funny, not Silly Walks. What's wrong with me today?

Hi All. Tinkered with the last bit. Y'all are right. "Unearthly fiend" was a bit much. That must have been the 2 a.m. talking. It's become "thing" until I can think of a better description.

More soon.

Yay!

pathetic feedback whore time...

I know it's Riley, but did anyone other than Deb read it and have thoughts?

The Resurrection Gambit

Part Fifteen: The Sting

China, 2023: Wesley drew a circle in chalk on the rooftop where Angel had died. He, Dawn, Xander and Spike took their places, holding candles. Wesley lit a match.

“Mind,” he said, and lit his candle. In the distance—so distant Wesley wasn’t sure it was real—he heard a voice whisper, “Descendent of the Shadowmen.” He lit Xander’s candle with his own.

“Heart,” said Xander. Human, traded peace for knowledge. Xander lit Dawn’s candle.

“Spirit,” said Dawn. Of the Slayer line, but separate from it. Dawn lit Spike’s candle.

“Hand,” said Spike, Vampire, but more.

The wind began to whip around them, and suddenly, the air was filled with dust. A portal of energy swirled above them, through which the Aurelius Gem fell through, landing between them.

“We represent four corners of the struggle,” shouted Wesley, into wind. “We seek the return of three fallen warriors. By the compacts of old, I implore, you. Bring them back.”

The dust began to coalesce into three pillars. Slowly, they began to resemble sand sculptures at a beach.

A mind-numbing anxiety overtook them, as the Juris appeared in the sky above them. It walked toward them as though it were descending a staircase.

“Ignore it!” shouted Xander. “Keep your concentration!”

“I have seen horror,” said the Juris. “I have committed atrocity, strewn bodies across continents. But this…”

With a wave of its hands, a nimbus of energy blasted toward the four. It dissipated like light rain on a windscreen, never touching them. The Juris arched an eyebrow in confusion, before an immense force knocked it backward.

Willow, bathed in white, appeared between the four and the Juris. The dust continued to shape into statues.

“You,” said the Juris. “I told you not to interfere in this, woman.”

“Uh-uh,” said Willow. “We’ve had this conversation.” With barely a crook of Willow’s neck, the Juris plummeted to the ground. It rose from the wrecked concrete, flying at her like a missile. Willow deflected him.

“I don’t know why you’re so angry,” said Willow. “You’re the one who set this up. You trapped the Master beneath Sunnydale. You cast both Angel and Spike out of Hell.”

“The balance must be preserved,” said the Juris, rocking Willow’s shield with a blow that could shatter buildings. “At all costs.”

“That’s what we’re doing, you doofus!” shouted Willow.

With that, the statues took on human form entirely. Shivering, naked and stunned, Angel, Drusilla and Darla fell to their knees.

“Now!” shouted Willow.

A nexus of energy flowed between the returned vampires and the four still deep into their spell. The energy flowed upward, through the portal the gem fell into, and then seemed to spread to everywhere.

All over the world, vampires froze in their tracks, looks of horror overtaking them. Some stopped in the act of feeding, casting their victims aside. Some left their crypts, running screaming into the daylight.

A green flame began to engulf the Juris, and it laughed so loudly and mockingly that everyone present experienced a chill. The laughter continued as it disintegrated.

“It’s done,” said Willow. “Every vampire in the world, they all have their souls back.”

The Juris’s laughter continued, unabated.

“What’s so funny?” asked Willow, rhetorically, before she was cold-cocked by Angel.

“What?” said Angelus. “You were expecting someone else?”

Plei, back from editing (note to self: kill novelists and bury their severed bits near the railroad siding) and will have commentary for you shortly.