OK - enhanced that a bit. It's important, actually, because it's related to the ring's, er, function.

Really? Gob means mouth? Huh... In Canada if you gob on someone you've spit on them.

But, really, shut your gob and gobsmacked now make more sense.

Elena, gobbing has the same meaning in the UK, where I think the slang originated (we need Fay). But it's pursing your lips and expelling with them to spit out a lump (ewewew), so the action - using your mouth to spit - is gobbing.

Interesting... Good to know.

Warning, the next bit or a portion of it is likely to get rather porny.

more:

• * *

"Where are we going?"

Giles had given up any pretence at a fight; he was trotting obediently at Olivia's heels. Not being an idiot, he was well aware of the fact that he had no single clue what to do next, and certainly not where to go. He found himself wondering how Olivia - who lived half the world away - had got so familiar with a toney mall in such a hurry.

"We're going to buy you some sunglasses." Olivia sailed through the entry to the Optical Fashion Center, and smiled bewitchingly at the carefully made-up, self-tanned young woman manning - or womanning - the sales floor. "Hullo. We want to see several very expensive pairs of sunglasses, please."

Ten minutes and fourteen pairs later, Olivia let out a long sigh.

"Rupert," she said carefully, "if you're going to win this thing, you really must try to get into the spirit of the competition."

"Sorry. I just can't seem to get very excited about clip-on RayBans."

"Right. Then I'll need to motivate you. Damn! I was really hoping to not have to use one so early." Olivia lifted her left hand in the air, and the four tiny gold charms dangled and flashed. Rupert felt a sudden tightening in his stomach, and became aware, too late, what the bracelet must be.

"Oooh," breathed the salesgirl, "that's a nice bracelet."

"Isn't it? Rupert, look at me." Olivia reached up and put her fingers to one of the charms. "Celare!"

She ripped the charm free of the bracelet, and tossed it into the air. It disintegrated into a shower of fine sparkles.

The next thing Rupert Giles was aware of was Olivia, wrapped around him like a cheap suit. No, make that a designer suit. A really beautiful, perfectly fitted designer suit. Yes, having it made would cost a bit more, but he could pick the wool himself, a fine herringbone, perhaps, or....

"ohyes ohodyesyesyesyes ohohohoho...."

How on earth had his trousers got all the way down there? And what was that short skirt of hers doing all the way up there? And was he honestly rogering Olivia blind on the floor of a sunglasses shop, in full view of the shopping population of Los Angeles, or at least Beverly Hills? And those RayBans, they were rubbish, why hadn't the girl shown him some good Armani....

The orgasm hit him like a sledgehammer, misting his vision. He heard Olivia shriek, and that was something new, since she was certainly not a screamer.

His head cleared. He looked around, at both of them upright, at the salesgirl looking inquiring, at a normal evening in the Beverly Center, at the three remaining charms on Olivia's wrist.

"Right," he said, and was amazed to find his voice perfectly steady. "What have you got by Gucci...?"

• * *

BWAH!

Heheheh. I'm surprised at how much fun I'm having with this one.

Tomorrow: Wesley and Fred hit Luis Vuitton and Fred feeds Wesley some ring.

(jeez, whan in sweet hell am I doing? Pornoshoppery?)

Conversation With the Monster

Conclusion: Goodbyes, of sorts

“I still don’t get it,” said Rosa, as Xander wound down his story. “Why was it that the First couldn’t defeat the Slayer? What was the force more powerful than it was?”

Xander regarded the woman gently, with all the patience of someone who’s spent nearly two decades teaching super-powered teenage girls.

“The First was never about evil,” said Xander. “It was about balance.” Rosa looked at him in disbelief.

“Oh, I don’t think it saw itself that way, but there’s evidence to support the theory. Before it all went down, we learned that Buffy herself had given the First the ability to act. We figured it was because of her resurrection, and that was part of it, true.”

“Oh, boy,” thought Dawn, “Here comes the Giles moment.”

“We should have really figured it out beforehand,” continued Xander, taking a last sip of coffee and resting his elbows on the table. “We should have figured it out the moment Kendra showed. It’s not that there’s never been two Slayers before—Giles was wrong about that. There have been. Wesley and I had a go at the Wolfram &Hart database a few years back, and there’s record of one dying, say, in Iceland, and then being resuscitated, and another popping up in Africa. No one noticed because Slayers didn’t used to last long. The situation corrected itself.”

“But Buffy was brought back,” said the young woman, appearing agitated. “Didn’t that break some cosmic rule or something?” “Sure,” said Xander. “But the real kicker was that there were now two Slayers who’d be sticking around. That’s what the cosmic balance took exception to. As long as Buffy and Faith both lived, one of them would figure out that there could be even more of them. That they weren’t bound by the Shadowmen’s rules forever.

“The First was free to act. It raised an army, murdered girls and destroyed the Council. And then, on one industrious day, it tried to talk Willow into killing herself, and manipulated Spike. It pulled Adam’s shade from Hell to seek knowledge, and projected itself back in time to take Angel from the picture before he interceded. In retrospect, we should have seen the universe was giving us a chance to pull this off. Two headstrong Slayers? Two ensouled vampires? That’s not coincidence. That’s a redundancy plan. Still got nothing on the snow, though.”

“Go back to that bit about…projecting itself through time?”

“Oh.” said Xander. “Like I said, the First doesn’t perceive time the way humans do, so it was nothing for him to be holding a conversation in its present while taunting Angel years earlier. It could be anywhere, anywhen it chooses, within limits I suppose.”

Xander’s face went serious. “It could be here right now.”

An electric shock washed down Dawn’s spine, but she only hesitated a second, reaching instinctively for the knife Faith had given her, years ago. Xander calmed her immediately by placing his hand on her shoulder, never once taking his eyes off the First as it morphed into Anya’s form.” “How long you known, Harris?” it said, a perfect echo of her caustic tone.

“Since the beginning. Like I said, I’ve been doing this awhile now. I generally know when evil things are hanging out.” There was a pause, and then Xander stated, plainly, “I’ve never forgiven you for killing her, you know. Not where it counts.”

“There’s fewer Slayers born every day, you know.” said the First, examining the replica of Anya’s engagement ring on its hand. “Nice touch,” thought Dawn, as she glanced at Xander. His face said nothing.

“I know. That’s OK, though. Fewer vampires.”

“The future will belong to me. When all of you are dead and gone, the wheel will spin around again.”

“Maybe. Or maybe someone will beat you back again. Did you learn what you came here to learn?”

“Not really,” said the First. “What is this source of power I’m incapable of understanding?”

Xander softened again. Dawn realized that, on some level, he was now talking to the part of the First that really was Anya, and that was a place that she not only couldn’t touch, but that she didn’t even want to try and touch. That little bit was his.

“What made Buffy keep fighting and Spike sacrifice himself? What made Faith escape jail and Angel create a ritual death for his son? What kept us together when Hell was literally looking to devour us? What pushes all of us forward through days that feel like straight razors?” Xander let out a small laugh. "It’s the only thing in this world more powerful than you, the only part of us that you have nothing to do with.

“It’s love. It’s the one thing you’ll never understand, and it’s the reason we’ll always win.”

The First glared, and began to fade out, without even a witty rejoinder.

“And the present?” said Xander, defiantly. "That belongs to us.”

Still got nothing on the snow, though.?

BWAH!!

?What is this source of power I?m incapable of understanding.?

Question mark?

I love your future, Victor.