Well, since I wounded the thread with the horrible "itaita" joke (sorry) I might as well go on and finish it off. Here's my original drabble, the one that started me on fan fiction and was spoilery before but not now since nothing is spoilery now. Sigh. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I do have a soft spot for it because it was my first baby. It's grown a little since the original 100 words. The theme was gun/hotel room.

"Pinewood Motel. Room 223. Stay there."

It shouldn’t be like this. She was supposed to be fighting, not in some roadside motel. She’d tried so hard to help. It hadn’t mattered. Everybody still thought of her as a little girl.

Xander had put her in the trunk. “Bastard.” She muttered. Ooh, she’d called Xander a bastard. She giggled, then caught herself. No wonder nobody took her seriously.

Was this Buffy’s idea of showing her the world? One motel at a time. No thanks. She walked to the closet, recoiling as her bare feet touched the stained carpet. The gun was on the floor, sleek and black. It had been easy to get. Pretty young girl. Old drunk. Sleazy bar. It wasn’t a big leap from klepto to pickpocket. She picked it up.

The click of the door opening almost made her drop the stupid thing. “Dawn, I brought some donuts. Thought we could watch a little Three Stooges. You up for it?” Her whole body tensed. For a minute, she thought she couldn’t do it. This was Xander. Then, she remembered Buffy in the cold, hard ground. That wouldn’t happen again. She turned around and aimed.

“I’d rather go home.”

• ****

“What is it with me and women? No matter how well things start out, they always end up with me facing death. Well, at least I’m not strapped to some wheel of pain or being menaced by some praying mantis de... Oh no. You’re not a demon now, are you?”

“What? No. Xander!”

“Just checking.” If he could just keep her talking, find out what happened in the short time that he’d been gone. “So where’d you get the gun?”

“We don’t have time for 20 questions. I want to go home. Now.”

“Not gonna happen, Dawn. I take you back, Buffy’d let Caleb finish what he started. The eyepatch thing is sexy, but those dark brown glasses? A little too Stevie Wonder.” A smile. Smiles were good. Smiles meant no bullets. “Come on. Let’s just sit down. We’ll eat donuts, watch a little tv. Wait for the apocalypse to be over.”

“I can’t be here. Buffy needs me. She does.” Xander watched Dawn’s eyes fill up with tears. Those tears had always gone straight to his heart. Only Willow’s affected him more. But he couldn’t break now, couldn’t comfort her. He had to make her understand something even he didn’t really get.

“Yeah, you’re right. Buffy does need you, Dawn. She needs you alive. She needs you to live through this, even if...”

“Don’t say it.” Dawn’s voice was no more than a whisper now. The gun in her hand looked like it weighed about a thousand pounds. Her arm was shaking and the tears were rolling freely down her cheeks. Xander stepped slowly to the cheap plywood table in front of the window and set the box of Krispy Kremes down. Then he started to walk towards Dawn. He tried to think about the best way to approach her, but all he heard in his head was Steve Irwin’s voice telling him to be very careful cause this baby’s beautiful but dangerous.

“She can’t die again. I can’t... I can’t.”

“I know, Dawnie. I know.” He was close now, just a few inches away. He reached out and put a hand on her arm, gently pressing it down until the gun hung limply at her side. Then she was in his arms, sobbing into his t-shirt. “Listen, Buffy will fight better if she knows you’re safe. You’re doing the best thing you can for her right now by being here.”

Dawn didn’t say anything, and Xander didn’t know what else to say. The two exiles stood there and comforted each other. The one eyed man and the key without a lock. What could they do in the big battle but get in the way, right?

• ****

Dawn didn’t say anything, and Xander didn’t know what else to say. The two exiles stood there and comforted each other. The one eyed man and the key without a lock. What could they do in the big battle but get in the way, right?

waaaaaaaaaa

(breaks again)

Sniff.

(It's Krispy Kreme)

Beautiful.

Thanks.

Krispy Kreme. Right. I should do some donut penance or something.

"key without a lock," that's good.

I just thought that would make ita "itaita", which gave me a good giggle.

Feh upon you. But since my name *is* just the suffix, no need to go there. My parents already did the diminutive need. And they swear just by itself "ita" is a Mexican endearment, FWIW.

Eerily, I can hear Steve Irwin. And I never watch his show.

Damn, Kat. You made me sniffle.

Pass the kleenex, please?

Big ol' chunk o' fic a-comin'. Damn, I've missed these nights, when it comes easy and I only have to stop because I have to sleep sometime.

The nuns were kindness itself as they helped their visitors get settled. Spike and Giles stayed on the bus, of course, but everyone else was grateful to get off. Tara clung to Willow's hand but accepted being led to the lodgings. The nuns themselves occupied the second floor of the building; several guest rooms of varying sizes were on the ground floor.

"We have a family staying with us," explained Sister Elizabeth, who was in charge of housing. "They're staying in the first room on the left. We have two more big rooms, you can divide them up as you wish. The wash room is at the end of the hall." She bustled off, leaving them to it.

Willow shrugged. "Guys on one side, girls on the other?" She frowned at Xander. "Except that puts you in with Spike and Giles. Maybe not."

"No, maybe not," Xander agreed. "I can sleep on the bus. Summerses on one side, everybody else on the other? Always assuming that our breath-challenged comrades intend to do anything so mundane as sleep tonight."

Joyce looked at Buffy. "How long are we going to be here?"

"I don't know. Sometime tomorrow, at least. Xander, do you mind not having a real room?"

He tugged on an invisible hat. "De nada, senorita. I'll just curl up in my serape in some corner of the courtyard."

Dawn laughed. "With the chickens?"

"OK, so maybe Clint Eastwood never had to deal with chickens in 'Hang 'Em High' or anything. It's still a perfectly good metaphor. Like I said, there's always the bus. So, Summers women in one room, witches and Anya in the other?"

No one quibbled, though a couple of glances went to Anya. "What?" she said. "I'm going to be wherever Xander is. Keep the vampires away from him."

"I don't think they're going to try anything, Anya," Buffy said.

"Well, no, not trying to bite him or anything. But if they get bored with each other, I don't want them seeing Xander off by himself."

Dawn was the only one who snickered. Various degrees of thoughtfulness and/or dismay went across the other faces.

Xander shook himself hard. "So not an image I ever wanted anywhere near my brain. But--wherever I curl up, Anya, you're more than welcome to curl up with me."

Anya smiled. "And if we want to have sex, we can throw Willow and Tara out of their room."

"Sure," Willow said brightly. "No problem."

Xander turned to Buffy. "We need to unpack the bus, right?"

"Right."

Buffy didn't head for the bus, though, once they were outside. She stood in the courtyard and looked around. "Do you mind coming with me while I look around?"

"Not at all."

They walked past the bus towards the gate. From inside they heard Giles' voice: "I already captured your King's Bishop, you can't use it to put me in check!"

"No, you didn't, that was my Queen's Bishop," Spike countered. "You just can't remember which pieces you're imagining."

"I'm not the one cheating at visualized chess, you are!"

Spike laughed. "And you sound so damned shocked, too. Fledges, they're so gullible."

Xander managed not to laugh until he and Buffy were out of the front gate. "Cheating at chess, that's evil. So, we're scouting the terrain, huh?"

"Pretty much." Buffy looked out over the valley. "This is beautiful. Only the one road, right?"

"I think so. There might be some trails behind the convent."

They walked around the walls. The olive grove sheltered a small graveyard, with weathered wooden crosses.

"Kind of a nice place to end up," Xander mused, looking at the trees and at the mountains beyond. The leaves rustled in the slight breeze, and a bird chirped on the far side of the grove. "Could do a lot worse for yourself."

Something of a professional judge of cemeteries, Buffy looked the area over. "This has been here a long time. And it doesn't look like anything has ever disturbed them."

"That's the way it is in most of the world, Buffy. The dead sleep quiet." A sudden rustle came from behind a tree. "Or not."

Buffy pointed out an ancient olive tree a few yards away. "Over there."

They crept towards the tree. The edge of something moving peeked out from around the trunk. Just as they started to look around, a figure jumped out and growled at them. A small, grey-scaled figure with a stubby tail, two arms and legs, and a faintly dinosaur-ish head. With sharp teeth, that were bared in fearsome snarl as clawed hands waved at them.

Buffy and Xander jumped back, reaching for weapons they hadn't thought they'd need.

The creature froze, then began to hiss quickly, bouncing a little.

The creature froze, then began to hiss quickly, bouncing a little

Connie, if there's a damned Gollum in this, you die bloody.

I'm just saying.

Buffy blinked. "Is he--he's laughing at us!"

Xander cocked his head, then put his hands up, fingers curled into claws, and growled back. The creature jumped, then ran away squeaking.

"Xander, you scared him! Meany!" She punched him in the arm.

"Ow! Well, he tried to scare us. Or she, or it."

"No, I think he was a him. At least, I think those were little him parts I saw, since he wasn't wearing anything." She saw the way Xander was looking at her, as if deeply interested in her observational habits of the genders of demons, and she smacked him again. "Come on."

"Ow. Slayer bully."

There were trails in the rocks behind the convent, but anything less nimble than a goat or a deer would kill itself trying to navigate them. The wall continued unbroken around the entire convent, with a barn on one side with two placid cows and a sleeping horse. The only windows were small and high up on the wall.

"The place was designed defensively, I'll say that for it," Xander said, knocking on the rock-hard adobe.

"I thought you didn't remember any of that soldier stuff anymore."

He shrugged. "I don't have the instincts, really, but a lot of the theory is still there. And I do read things other than comic books, sometimes. Giles hooked me up with this Sun Tzu guy, fascinating stuff. I wonder if there's a way to get up on top of the walls."

Buffy grinned as she followed him into the courtyard. It was always fun--and maybe more than just a little intriguing--watching Xander being Competent Guy.

Wooden stairs led up to a walkway near the top of the front wall. The parapet came up to Xander's waist, and he crouched down to peer over thoughtfully. He stood up, nodding. "I can work with this." He saw the way Buffy was smiling at him. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just--you're cute when you're being all smart and capable and stuff."

"Well, better too late than not at all, I guess. Anything else you want to take a look at?"

She blinked, feeling just a little put down. "Uh, the church, I guess. Might as well be thorough." He gestured for her to lead the way.

As they crossed the courtyard, they saw movement in the shadows of the doorway. Buffy put a hand on Xander's arm. "It's the little guy from the graveyard. Don't scare him."

"OK, but if he eats your face, don't blame me."

Buffy walked slowly towards the doorway, waiting for the little demon to stick his head out again. One big green eye in a scaley head peeked around. She immediately crouched down. "Hi, there, little guy. We won't hurt you." She reached a hand out. The creature eased his whole head out of hiding, watching her. "Yeah, hi. Do you understand me?"

Xander shook his head. "I saw 'Jurassic Park,' it's always the cute little ones. He's gonna eat you."

"Hush, you. Never mind him, little guy, he's a big meanie." She started to straighten, and the creature squeaked and ducked back inside. "Oh, hey, wait, I'm sorry."

"Meanie," Xander said.

With a rustle of long skirts, Sister Agnes came to the doorway, the little creature hiding behind a fold of cloth he clutched to himself. "What scarey people did you see, Baynar--oh, silly boy. These are friends, they aren't going to hurt you." She picked up the scared little demon and carried him out. "This is Buffy and this is Xander."

"I'm sorry we scared him," Buffy said. "Baynar is his name?"

"Yes, it is." Sister Agnes patted Baynar's back as he hid his face in her shoulder. "He's a Minoto. He's here with some of his clan. He doesn't speak very good English, and he hasn't seen any humans except the sisters and me. It's all right, Baynar, they're not going to hurt you. Buffy, Xander, come a little closer, let him smell you."

Buffy went up first, speaking quietly and holding out her hand. Baynar looked around suspiciously, then stuck his head out and sniffed at her hand. He cringed back a little when she reached up to touch him, but he didn't hide. Buffy grinned, then stuck her tongue out at Xander. "He likes me."

Xander sneered back. "Girls always smell nice. It's just a trick to make men turn their backs on you." He turned to Baynar. "Hey, little dude. Don't bite, OK?" He held up his hand, fingers tucked away in the best approaching-a-wary-dog procedure. Baynar sniffed, then looked suspiciously at Xander. He growled quietly. Xander grrr-ed back. Baynar blinked, cocked his head, then growled again, adding a little claw swipe. Fighting a grin, Xander growled right back. Baynar hissed and bounced a little, then gave a bigger growl. Xander waved both hands at him, fingers clawed. Baynar hissed some more.