All that I know about pornography comes from Boogie Nights and True Porn Clerk Stories which doesn't seem like much of a baseline. Why can't my plot bunnies involve obscure French films or open hearth cooking or something with which I have actual experience?

Theo, just Google for some porn DVD resellers, check the length on 'em, and find the average. It's what I'd do.

check the length on 'em

not touching that straight line with a ten foot - oh, wait.

Saw a documentary on this. Really. And it said that from pick up to pop shot the average time was twenty minutes. Apparently this is the average length of time that the gentleman watcher, uh, retains interest. Of course you may have more than one pick up. So the length is likely to be divisible by twenty minutes.

So, um remember the challenge from a week or two ago, where it was male/female, hotel room, gun? I finally got around to finishing my story for it -- typically long after the challenge is over, and um, also I went with Due South... but mainly, I finished it, so I might as well post up all 445 words of it and bore you with it here.

Yes, please, Theo.

Title: Nooner Pairing: RayK/Stella

The hotel room door was ajar, and Stella stepped inside cautiously. “Ray? My secretary took a message—”

He was sitting near the window, lit only faintly through the closed curtains. “I got back early, hon’,” he said. Flowers on the table, a bottle, two wine glasses. “I thought you could have a little fun in a hotel, too – since I got to go away to the police convention.” He paused. “And… my appointment’s come through.”

“Oh, Ray!” she said. “Oh, honey, you’ve worked so hard for that job!” He stood up, a slim silhouette, and she went into his hug, feeling his wiry frame press against her, his arms enfold her, his soft lips seek hers out, tease and love her. She lost herself a little, what a relief after a day at court, and such great news, too. She must never tell him that she’d called in some favors… not that his qualification was in doubt, but who you knew still counted in Chicago.

While he worked at the tiny buttons on her silk blouse, she tugged off his jacket, pulled up his t-shirt and ran her hands up his chest, reveling in his warmth and texture: soft skin, coarse hair, firm muscles – and frowned slightly as her hand ran into resistance, straps or something over the T-shirt.

“Stella, you’re great… just greatness,” Ray said. He always said the sweetest things. She sighed and reached around to investigate this strappy thing… surely it wasn’t bondage gear. The straps ran across the breadth of his shoulders. While he kissed her neck and murmured, she followed the strap around under his arm, and put her hand…

…on cold hard steel. She gasped, even as she realized what it must be, a shoulder holster. His hands on her stilled, and he broke off his kiss. “Stel’? You okay?”

“Ray – it’s just – your gun,” she said. She took a step back, a deep breath. “I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” Ray said. “I picked up this rig at the convention, ‘cause I’m going to be plainclothes now… forgot I had it on, it’s so light.”

“It’s okay, Ray,” she said, trying to sound hearty, but her heart was still pounding.

“No, I’ll take it off,” he said, matching action to words. “I didn’t think—”

“It’s your job,” she said. He put all of it, straps and holster and gun, on top of the armoire. “I’ll be okay now,” she said, and he took up where he left off, and she tried, tried, tried to act enthusiastic for him.

I like that, especially the simple things you used to change mood: he always said the sweetest things

up against this: tried, tried to act enthusiastic for him

Another multifandom shortfic challenge that could be interesting: secrets.

What should I work on next, Ethan and Giles on their way to Hong Kong or the Scoobies on the road?