kat, that was amazing. Really, really great. And not just because it implies a horrible, painful, bloody death for Kennedy. Wait, my issues...

ita, your Buffy movie drabble is the funniest fucking thing ever!!! And the Dawn one was achy.

Please, please, please everyone gather your drabbles and send them to the Bitch Fic site! Please...

We totally need to start updating the Bitchyfic archive. And adveritsing it somehow.

Kat that was great, at first I thought maybe it was Andrew babbling.

I meant to mention that. If you have anything you want to go up on the Bitchfic site, just email it to me in the body of an email or as a.txt attatchment and I'll get it up.

Dammit, I can't get in to see the Wes/Gunn smut, how cruel is life?

edit: And I was expecting Crispin to end up being a vampire, myself.

Connie, the story isn't over yet, you know. More to come.

Well, my theory went ka-boom when Crispin kicked in the door his ownself--though if he had a standing invitation post-vamping, that wouldn't be a problem, I guess.

I need to get back to what Xander and Willow are up to pre-road trip in the V!Giles. Perhaps some stuff to post later tonight.

YOU GO WORK ON THAT CONNIE!

NO REASON AT ALL FOR ME TO BE EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

NONE AT ALL.

more....

("AAAARGH BEHOLD EYGHON ouch bloody hell that HURTS let go of me you cow!")

"Shut up, you black-magic dabbling little twit!" She wrenched him clear of the pentagon, sliding her left hand down to a vicious grip on his bicep. "Get us down here, me and Steed? Was that the idea? 'Ten, eleven, man and woman together'? Feed us to that damned thing?"

"Well...."

She dug her fingers hard, and he shrieked. "'Eight, nine, vampires to dust' - killing these two off was supposed to help summon your big dusty friend in there? So you lured them here with the girl. Is that it? Answer me."

"I'm a sorcerer, damn it! Raising demons, that's what we do!"

"You're a sorcerer?" Suddenly and regrettably, Emma Peel lost her temper. She shook Ethan hard. "You're a spoiled stupid little plonker with delusions of grandeur, is what you are! You've hurt people, endangered people, raised that reeky great whatever for apparently no other reason than to prove you can. I'd drag you outside by the hair and beat you like a dinner gong if I didn't think you'd enjoy it. And I may yet. But first...." A loud burping roar came from inside the pentagram, and Emma glared at Ethan. "First, you're going to send that supernatural Come-Tickle-Me right back where you got it from."

"Suppose I don't want to?" Ethan's sneer was still in place, but it was decidedly more tremulous than it had been. "Suppose I refuse?"

She smiled at him, a full glorious Emma Peel smile, close-mouthed, slit-eyed. "Then I toss you back in and watch it eat your entrails like a tube of Smarties."

Ethan gaped at her. No one said a word; even the Eyghon was quiet, possibly wondering whether she'd actually do it. Drusilla broke the silence.

"You know, I do rather like her." She spoke consideringly, her head tilted to one side. The ridges were gone, and the fangs with them; she looked like no more than a weirdly dressed, very pretty girl with an eye for footwear. "I think he's pissed himself; I can smell it."

"She's not the Slayer, though, is she?" Spike and Crispin, by tacit agreement, seemed to have suspended their fight in favour of waiting to see what the Eyghon would do. Spike was actually lounging a bit."I mean, she's too old for the whole Slayer bit. And not to be rude or anything, mate, but who in hell are you little lot, anyway?"

"She's an Avenger," Crispin told him. "And I'm a retired Avenger. She's not the Slayer, but now you bring it up? I'm thinking we could use her. It would be easy enough to get her here."

He swung his head around to Ethan. "Wouldn't it, boy? Shall I ring up your friend Rupert? Ask him to bring his father's project around for the evening?"

"No!" Ethan yelped. He swallowed hard. "She's not just a slayer, she's a witch. We've got an Avenger, a retired Avenger, two vampires and the Eyghon. For God's sake, you really think we ought to add the Slayer to that? When she's also capable of turning us all into cups of Bovril with a spell?"

The Eyghon suddenly roared. The sound was impressive. It did unexpected things to the nervous system.

"What's a Slayer?" Emma was completely exasperated. "No, don't tell me. You've got til I count ten, Ethan. Are you sending that thing in there to its room, or does it get to pick its teeth with you?" She stepped towards the pentagram, dragging Ethan with her, and the demon lunged towards them; it was still missing one arm and part of its head, but what was visible looked more than capable of doing the trick. "One. Two. Thr-"

still arranging people before the Great Road Trip, but I think all the packing and "Have we left anything/anyone?" is just about done

Once again Xander felt a little stab of jealousy of the college lifestyle as he followed Willow into her dorm. Past midnight on a school/work night, and there were dozens of people up and about with not a care in the world beyond a good time. Granted, he was up past midnight himself on a work night, but he was deeply involved in saving the world--again. And despite the message he'd left on his boss' answering machine about yet another family emergency, he didn't like the odds of his still having gainful employment after this latest adventure played itself out.

Willow gave him a tired smile as she unlocked her dorm room door. "I'm so glad you're around, Xander. You're dependable." A pair of drunken young men wearing only their boxers suddenly dashed out of a neighboring room, laughing madly as they ran down the hallway. Willow glared after them. "Unlike some."

Xander watched the guys run. "Yeah, I'm the dependable one."

Willow didn't dawdle as she gathered clothing and toiletries for a few days. She spent more time at the bookcase, checking various volumes.

"What are you looking for?" Xander asked.

"Bindings, reversing and changing, sharing energy, that kind of stuff. Giles said there might be a way to get Tara back from Glory."

"And you believe him why?"

Willow stared at him in confusion. "Why would he lie?"

"Because he's a vampire, and vampires like to play with people's brains before they play with the rest of the person?"

"It makes no sense for Giles to lie about something like this," Willow said, going back to the books. "There's no benefit to him if this doesn't work." She stood up, two volumes in her hands. "Let's go. Next stop the hospital."

"Wills, visiting hours are over."

"Oh, we're not visiting, we're releasing."

Xander stared at her, seeing her calm, cheerful, determined expression. The pleasant version of the resolve face. The one that gave you the option of cooperating willingly. "We can pick up Tara in the morning, that's the plan, no one's going to leave her."

"I know," Willow said very reasonably, "but if we go get her now, we don't have to waste time waiting for the hospital people. We can just get straight out of Dodge." She picked up the two backpacks she'd filled and headed for the door. "Come on."

Xander hesitated, then he remembered that Willow had a copy of his car keys. He had no doubts that she'd leave him to walk back to Buffy's house while she went to the hospital by herself. "OK, OK, wait up."

He stayed just a little bit behind her as she strolled through the front doors of the hospital. He wasn't sure if it was magic or just her serene confidence that caused the security guards to ignore them. She led the way to the elevators and up to the floor where Glory's victims were being cared for. This time Xander was sure there was some kind of cloaking spell involved, because none of the nurses or staff on the floor paid the slightest attention to them and Willow was careful to not be in anyone's way.

The ward where the brain sucked people were was dimly lit, but no one was sleeping. All the patients were restrained, and they tugged fretfully at their bonds, whispering anxious nonsense.

"There are so many of them," Willow whispered.

"I guess she's a big eater," Xander shrugged.

The patients didn't seem to notice the two people creeping among them. Xander tried not to look at them too closely. They brought back dim memories of his grandfather, who had spent the last few years of his life slouched in a chair, muttering bits of old conversations and calling people by the wrong name. For some reason he had always called Xander "Charlie", and older Xander wished he had asked who Charlie was. Grandpa had liked Charlie.

Tara was in the end bed, restrained like the others, though care had been taken to protect her broken hand. Willow whispered nasty things under her breath as she went to her lover. "Tara?" she said softly. "It's me."

A beautiful smile went across Tara's face. "The sun," she breathed in wonder. "The sun's come out. And the moon," she added when she saw Xander.

Xander raised an eyebrow at Willow, who shrugged impatiently. "Sweetie, we're going to go on a trip," she said as she began unfastening the straps holding Tara's arms. She nudged Xander and nodded towards the straps over Tara's legs. "We're all going on a trip and I'm going to take care of you and I'm going to make you better."

When he was finished with the leg straps, Xander checked the small lockers next to the bed for Tara's belongings. "Here's her clothes. You want to try getting her out of that gown and into something less noticeable?"

"No one's going to see us," Willow said certainly. "But she'll need her shoes. Here, you hold her, I'll put them on her."

Tara smiled at Xander as he took her good arm and kept her from wobbling. "The trees go gold in the fall," she told him. "But not in the spring."

"No, not in the spring," he agreed, thinking of his Grandpa.

Tara was wobbly on her feet but came along docilely as Willow led her to the door.

"What about pain pills and such for her hand and everything?" Xander asked as he scouted the area for anything of Tara's they might have missed.

"I have some herbs and such that will work. They'll keep her calm, too, in case ..." Willow ran her fingers through Tara's hair. "Maybe we'll have time to wash your hair before we go, baby. And then I can brush it out for you so it won't be so tangly."

"Pink blue," Tara smiled, leaning her head on Willow's shoulder. "Sound of cinnamon."

"Sure, honey. Come on."

Xander followed the two women, still watc