At least it spares us the sight of you in an apron.”

(giggle)

Deena, only thing that rang off for me was that "shut up, prisoner." comment. I couldn't put that in Xander's mouth, somehow, unless he was being Teenage Boy nyah-nyah about it?

I was thinking teenage boy nyah, and that maybe Andrew hit a nerve with the dark side comment. It struck me as a little off at the time, too, though. I'll have to rethink that. Maybe go back and check how Xander tried to shut him up before. Oh, the hardship.

Deena, nah, just italicise it, for emphasis.

"Shut up, prisoner."

That shows the nyahnyah aspect pretty clearly, I'd say.

Oh, blast, and before I saw your post, I edited it. I think it's funnier, though, if that's any consolation?

Heh. Much cleaner Xander-speak.

Thanks! I'm finding it interesting trying to come up with their voice in dialogue. I've got another half page. Trying to figure out what comes next.

And here's some more:

Gunn touched his arm and he startled.

“Buffy? Or, you know, Willow or Faith, even?”

Xander grinned. “Oh, yeah, we're all about the Faith-love, now. Have you ever seen her working?”

“You want to point me to where one or all of them are? ‘Cause, like, I’m not getting anything done here and, you know, First Evil?”

The faintest hint of a blush climbed Xander’s neck and he shifted uncomfortably. “See, that’s a problem. Will’s around, but she’s asleep. See, she tried to do some big mojo to find Buffy last night and it kind of came around and slapped her or something.”

“Buffy’s missing?”

“Oh,” Xander began to pick up spilled cereal on the counter. “Well, not really of the missing. I mean, it’s not like she hopped a bus and changed her name to Jane or something.”

Gunn rubbed a hand over his head and wondered how anyone got anything done around here. He smiled at the girls huddled in the corner with the cereal boxes and hefted his ax. They looked confused, then quickly followed Andrew, whispering to each other and casting dark looks back over their shoulders.

Gunn rested the ax on the counter, narrowly missing Xander’s busy fingers. “So,” he looked at Xander through narrowed eyes. ”How is she not missing?”

Xander looked up. “She went out patrolling a couple of nights ago. She didn’t come back. Last night Willow tried to do a locate spell and it didn’t work, or it worked and Buffy is actually inhabiting Willow’s body.” He caught Gunn’s look. “Nah. It didn’t work.” He started to pick up more cereal, but the sight of the ax made him rethink. “Anyway, Faith went looking for her last night, after the spell, the one that didn’t work. She thought maybe a demon bar or something.”

Gunn leaned back to think about this. Buffy hangs out at demon bars? Not Angel’s Buffy then.

“Hey, do you guys have demon bars? I bet you do, and clubs.” Xander did a little hip-twist motion, “Demons getting down with the disco, yeah.” He caught Gunn’s look and wound down, quickly, “yeah, well, you know. Anyway, she’s not here. All we’ve got here is a houseful of scared little girls, a vamp, a hostage and a lot of work for me fixing, I think the toilet’s next.”

They were interrupted by the sound of the toilet flushing and a high-pitched shriek. Xander bent over and grabbed a toolbox out from under the counter. “Yup, toilet.”

Xander caught Gunn's disbelieving look as he walked out of the kitchen. “Hey, we all do what we can.”

****

Gunn walked out of the house and looked around. If you didn’t know better, this would look like any small town with the pretty houses and the prize rosebushes, that is, if you could ignore the number of eyeless wonders wandering the streets. There were more of them now, a couple down two houses, three sitting in a flower bed across the way, and one just walking away up the sidewalk like a crazy old coot walking his dog on a Saturday afternoon in the spring.

Man, this was ridiculous. How was he gonna find a couple of missing slayers in Amityville town? Forget it. He’d head back to the hotel and see what Wes and Fred had found out.

***

“You’re translating that wrong! It’s not an intransitive verb there, and when you make it intransitive it changes the meaning of the text. The word endings have to follow and then you end up with something about recalcitrant beets.” Wes threw up a hand in disgust, turning toward Gunn as he walked in the door.

Fred jerked the scroll sharply out of Wes’s hand. “No, it’s not about beets! I know you weren’t..." She waved a hand in the air, and turned her head, searching for the right words "...but, but, it’s really elegant, in an inelegant way of course, because, you know, these are demons who eat every third young, and they weren’t so much about learning to write, like, poetry, or, but, it’s consistent, even when it’s inconsistent, it’s like a puzzle. See, right here? They ate their young to grow the…" She stopped when she saw Wes’s face. “Right. I’ll just keep trying.”

“What did Buffy say?” Gunn found it hard to look at Wes and Fred’s expectant faces.

“She’s missing.”

Angel walked in from the bathroom, toweling his hair dry. “Buffy’s missing? Like, missing where? A hell dimension?”

“Like missing, missing. She went patrolling and didn’t come back.” Gunn put the ax down on the table near the window and slumped back on the double bed closest to the door. “Why don’t we have enough money to get two rooms?" He looked around at ugly wallpaper and bad landscapes careful not to look at Angel at all. "I mean, this place ain’t the Hyperion, but… “ He trailed off as Wes cleared his throat.

“Obviously, this is a fraught situation. There are bringers everywhere on the streets, but we think we’ve found a spell to unmake them. We need the slayer though, one of them.” He shot Gunn a keen look. “What about Faith?”

“Faith.” Gunn smiled. “Also missing, went looking for Buffy.” Fred frowned at the look on Gunn’s face. “What?” She shook her head and turned away.

“Willow?”

“Passed out from a bad spell or something.”

Angel turned around and slammed the bathroom door. There was a moment of uneasy silence.

“How much time until sunset?”

“I got about 4 hours. Where’s Lorne?”

Fred piped up, her head still bent over the text. “He said he was going to see what this hotel had for a bar and maybe check out the karaoke. He doesn’t read Garlybrxmtl.” “Garlywhatsis, huh? I think I’m with Lorne.” Gunn slid off the bed and reached for his ax.

“Gunn.” Wes stopped him and he turned around. “Be discreet.”

Gunn caught the handgun Wes threw and looked at him, concerned. “Discreet? Do I even know how to use this thing?” He shrugged at Wes’s look of exasperation. “Yeah, okay, I do, but I like my ax.”

“Keep the gun.”

“Fine.”

****

Keep it coming.

Gunn probably tucks the gun in the back of his waistband, like a gangsta. :-)