Don't worry, Elena, I have plans for her.

Are they homicidal?

mayyy-bee ...

tease. Are you wearing a tiara?

Not at work, they're not worthy.

edit: Though I may wear my extra-sparkly one tonight as I stay up late planning mean things to do.

A little bit of V!Giles in the night ...

Sammy headed downstairs to the lower level of the Sunrise Grove recreation center. It had been a long night, and he was anxious to get to bed. He and Fred and Angie and Pamela had been scrounging for nights for this information, and maybe now they could get back to the killing and screwing and lazing around that made vampiric life worth living. Vampires weren't supposed to have causes and quests, they were just supposed to have fun.

Whistling a Cindy Lauper tune, he knocked on the half-open door of Ripper's workroom. "Come in," came the answer.

"Morning, Ripper," he said as he went in. He checked the floor, just to make sure nothing had been drawn on it that he might accidentally step in. "Oh, hey, Spike. Man, you still look like shit."

Spike, laid out on the couch on the other side of the room, lifted a single finger in mute reply. A bandage still covered the hole in his skull, and the bruises on his face were just past the most colorful stage. He lifted a bottle to his lips and took a long drink.

"Good morning, Sammy," Giles said, looking up from the books and papers on his desk. "You have news?"

"We've got the location," Sammy grinned. "Me and Pam scouted it out tonight. There's a bunch of those hooded geeks and crazy guys building a big-assed tower in the junkyard."

"Yes, finally," Giles said in satisfaction.

"About bloody time something goes our way," Spike muttered. "You got that time frame locked down yet, Ripper?"

"Just about. A few more calculations, I should have it pinpointed."

Sammy shifted uncertainly. "Uh, Ripper? About the whole Glory thing ..."

Giles looked up again. "Yes?"

"Well, we stopped at Willie's, and there were a bunch of guys there talking about all this and how it's going to be a demon free-for-all when Glory goes home. Why are you trying to stop it?"

Spike and Giles glanced at each other. "Sammy," Spike said, "what do vampires eat?"

"Blood."

"Whose blood?"

"Human blood. Well, except for Louie the Freak, he likes dogs."

Giles frowned. "How in the world does he survive on dog?"

"Don't ask," Spike said. "Sammy, Glory opens the portal, romps on home, unleashes demon Mardi Gras on earth."

Sammy grinned. "Yeah."

"What happens to the humans?"

He grinned harder. "All sorts of stuff."

"They likely to survive all this stuff?"

"Probably not."

"And what do we eat when all the humans are dead?"

Sammy started to speak, hesitated, started to speak again, then frowned. "Oh."

"I've bitten into some of the demons out there. Let's just say, acquired taste does not begin to describe it."

Giles gave Spike a queasy look. "Do I want to know why you decided to see what demon tasted like? What kind of demon?"

"Chaos. I was drunk. Never mind." He frowned at the knowing look that went across Giles' face.

Sammy was still pouting. "So if we want to keep eating, we have to stop the party. Shit. I was looking forward to some balls out mayhem."

"Hey, if nothing else, we might go invade Glory's building site, do a bit of smashing up."

"Yeah," Sammy sighed, "but it's not the same as torching the town and chasing people through the streets."

Spike paused in nostalgic thought. "Yeah, that's fun. But sometimes you have to take the long view." A noise from Giles caught his attention. The ex-Watcher was scribbling rapidly and muttering to himself excitedly. "I think he's got it. What's up, Ripper?"

"Leave me alone, Spike," Giles said, waving a hand at him. "I've almost--yes, apply that value to d'Grevit's Variant of Planck's Constant, divide by the Section of Ka'aarb, carry the six--yes! Dawn, three days from now, that's the time when the Key must be used to open the portal or lose the chance forever." He sat back and rested his chin on his fist. "Dawn. I wonder if that's why she's named--"

"Ripper!" Spike interrupted.

"What? Oh." Giles blinked at Sammy, then shook his head. "Oh, yes, sorry. I've found the time."

"We guessed," Sammy grinned.

Spike pulled out his pocket watch. "Less than 72 hours to go. Glory must know this too, right?"

Giles nodded grimly. "Yes, she must. So she'll be getting desperate." He looked at Sammy again. "Thank you for finding the location, Sammy, that's a great help."

Sammy nodded. "And on that, I'm out of here. We got anything in the larder for a before bed snack?"

"Check with Fred," Spike said. "I think he went shopping."

"Right. Morning, guys."

"Tah."

"Good morning, Sammy." Giles stared at his figures, running recalculations for accuracy. "Three days," he said once the door was closed. "I'm tempted to say we can do this easily, but Glory will be going on the offensive."

"We'd best tell the others."

"Right." He found his cell phone to call Anya at the Magic Box.

Brilliant! Love the bit with Spike and the Chaos demon? Look, I said 'bit'! It's so meta.

it's so meta

I'll thank you to keep your higher literary thought away from my taradiddles, missy. Melodrama is my specialty.

Speed should be your specialty. Just for my amusement, of course.

Say, I wonder what would happen to Spike and Xander in a steam room these days?

Seriously, I love the little touches you're doing in this story. Xander, as usual, is my main focus and I think that you're being brilliantly subtle with his reactions to wounded!Spike.