My favorite thing ever was when a much older editor at the publisher where I worked (she was sixty-five or so) told a story at an editorial meeting about her friend Pussy. Coffee. Everywhere. And she had no clue what was so funny.

In fact, she claimed to have had two different friends named Pussy. At boarding school.

I feel bad for him, but the stupidity? Oh, it burns. Too.

I have heard stories about people who've tried to flush all the gas out of a gas tank with water and then use a lit match to see what's in the tank.

Just so you know, the fumes tend to linger in the tank even if all the gas has been washed out.

In fact, she claimed to have had two different friends named Pussy. At boarding school.

Oh my.

Note to self: don't check to see if something's flammable by igniting it.

A sentence I never thought I'd say at work: "Yeah, 'box' is slang for vagina."

Bet that gave those folks a whole new take on "Dick in a Box"

I'm going to guess the people who didn't know what I was talking about have never heard of Dick in a Box.

New vampire show?

Jesse, that reminds me of a ball room dance instructor. He was showing me tango, and you have to keep your knees slightly bent to get the steps right. So he shows me what to do and says, very cheerifully, "I always tell my students -- Remember to get bent!"

He just stared at me dumbfounded as I dissolved into giggles.

So, should I go to the company-wide release party thing this afternoon?

Pros: snacky food and the chance to Win Fabulous Prizes. (Pete would be very happy if I somehow managed to win an XBox 360.)

Cons: interacting with other people who work here, which would probably involve a lot of the "I'm not in costume, these are my everyday clothes" -type of conversation.

I know somebody named Kitty because her parents came from a family where the first sons were always named Richard....

Remember to get bent!"

Niiice.