Cat owners never have to walk outside because of their cat owning.

I used to walk my cat on a leash.

Of course, then he tried to kill me and had to be taken away.

Of course, then he tried to kill me and had to be taken away.

The more cat owners talk about their cats, the more I think I don't need to do any work in this kerfauxful.

Tell me more about the salubrious effects of cat ownership and wearing them on your heads at night!

I sleep with a pillow on my head, to keep the light out, and when my kitty sleeps on the pillow on my head, it keeps the pillow from shifting, and the evil, sleep-stealing light out.

Es verdad, amigo.

Thanks to Jesse's "Today is the SUCK" article, I just went and paid bills. I am in major debt fear and MUST NOT SPEND MONEY mode. Paying off my credit cards FOR REAL THIS TIME, REALLY! has taken on a crazy level of space on my brain.

Both the cat and the dog like my flashlight game: "Hey, Get The Bug."

I sleep with a pillow on my head, to keep the light out, and when my kitty sleeps on the pillow on my head, it keeps the pillow from shifting, and the evil, sleep-stealing light out.

I think your cat is trying to smother you in your sleep in order to eat your spleen for breakfast. It's literally pushing a pillow onto your face and quite efficiently taking a nap at the same time. You have to admire the combination of laziness and lethality.

I do think it's very likely the cause-and-effect direction is the opposite of "cats promote an unhealthy lifestyle." I don't think the elderly are going to get much benefit from being dragged around and falling while taking Marmaduke-style dogs on walks.

In non-depressing vein, I started the Atkins diet today and then found out that I must have gotten an even more crack-addled version of it several years ago, as grapefruit/grapefruit juice is mentioned nowhere as a vital component of the official plan. This means that I can both:
(1) opt out of starting my mornings with an 8 oz. glass of Satan's fruit juice, and
(2) eat a few of the 8 blood oranges in my fridge over the next couple of weeks (since a cup of citrus juice every day didn't curtail the diet''s weight loss effects when I've tried it previously).

I *love* grapefuit. But of course everyone doesn't.

I'm statistically less likely to die of hanta virus because the presence of cat keeps the vermin away.

I think your cat is trying to smother you in your sleep in order to eat your spleen for breakfast. It's literally pushing a pillow onto your face and quite efficiently taking a nap at the same time. You have to admire the combination of laziness and lethality.

My kitties are smart enough to realize that if I die, the Huge Human Shaped Electric Blanket loses its power.

Besides...spleen? Liver is MUCH tastier. And mine might taste like lime and vodka!