Amusing -- Survival of the Asshats:
Why is it that so much of the internet population tends to become an asshat? We have evidence of all sorts indicating that this trend from naivety to seasoned asshat is not just a coincidence. Many have noticed this chain of descent from naive, feckless n00b to l337 haxxors but have been unable to explain the pattern. That is, until today.
The mechanism I will propose as the cause of such assholishness is “natural deletion”. This is in stark contrast to the theory that the asshats were all created by some omnipotent l337 haxx0r who designed them all that way. Frankly, the l337 haxx0r theory isn’t even testable, so not many people give it much thought. With “natural deletion”, however, we can expect a variety of different predicted observations, all of which just happen to be borne out by the reality. We’d expect, among other things, fossil traces of benevolent ancestry, an evolutionary progression from naive n00b to asshat, and vestigial behaviour.
tommyrot, you might need this: '50s and 60s Automobile promo films.
Fuck, I don't want Obama to run now. He hasn't done shit. I would really like somebody as president that's accomplished a few things and knows something about statesmanship. Not a freshman Senator. I don't need some charismatic do-gooder bumbling around in office and getting picked off by the republican sharks.
Damn you, Al Gore! Why don't you run?
I like even more how the British say it: Nut-ella
I thought that was how to say it. Of course, I've never had it. It doesn't appeal to me.
What?? I do like Nutella.
I remember. I was waiting for your defense of it.
But David, doesn't Obama fit well into your Elvis theory of Presidential politics?
Why, god, why? Why do I question my ultimate boss on things that I know damn well she knows more about than I do??
I mean, really. Such an ass.
Damn you, Al Gore! Why don't you run?
In my mind, Al is just waiting for the first wave of candidates to burn out so he can step in at the last minute and be the only guy whose dirty laundry hasn't been waved constantly under our collective American nose for the last 18 months.
Obama can be his Veep.
But David, doesn't Obama fit well into your Elvis theory of Presidential politics?
It's not my theory, but yeah, he does. Though Edwards also has a bit of Elvis in him, and I think he'd probably win the nod.
I love Al Gore. I believe he should have been my president, lo these past seven years, but I don't think he has the proverbial snowball's chance in hell, and he let himself be so mishandled during the 2000 Election, that I really don't think he had the stuff.
And when I say I love Al Gore, I really mean it. I used to have this whole big schtick about Al being bred and groomed for the presidency, only to wake up and find this mutt from Arkansas got the top job. I love him, but he's not a winner, and he has too much baggage.
I don't think Obama's chances are much better, but that's because of his lack of seasoning. He's got something, though -- something pulled from the rubble of what was once bright and shiny about our country, and...I'll shut up, because I'm making him into Barak Sue. Can't you see his violet eyes, from here?
