so I'm pretty sure that, given my history with cooking, soon I'll be burning something in it

But they are nigh impossible to burn things! except for me last night. damn.

it's cold in the house today and really, I'd prefer a souffle. Which i might go have.

I hear someone's managed to tap into a feed for the sports channels downstairs. Which would play very nicely on our wide-screen flat panel monitors. I knew I should have brought in my Buffy DVDs.

So, is this the year of some magical animal that gives us pork chops, bacon, sausages, and ham?

I've burned stuff in the crock pot. To be fair, it was really old, so I blame shoddy technology.

Year of Pork? Now I wish I still had those pancake-sausage crack sticks. But I did buy bacon yesterday for the first time in yonks. I want to make brunch for me and my sister (bellinis and pumpkin pancakes, yum!) but that's kind of contingent on her getting her ass out of bed and on the road.

some magical animal that gives us pork chops, bacon, sausages, and ham?

Tommy, next time you'll be saying there's a fairy who flies around a gives you money for lost teeth.

But I know it's hard to give up the belief in the Magical Bacon/Sausage/Ham Beast.

There's a fairy that makes one's finger brace disappear in the night. I just wish there were one that brought me fruit for my breakfast cereal.

Heh. Matt, I'm pretty sure the Goldschlager was the least of your problems.

Nah, the earlier drinks while I was out didn't get me drunk, and the midnight absinthe, while potent, stopped short of Hangover Land. I should have drunk the gold demon while sitting in a bath to ensure hydration.

Oh, I didn't think to mention last night that I was bystander to a covert war between a hostile drunk customer and two pissed-off Faithlike bartenders. Dude, if you're going to make multiple complaints about the bartenders (among them that they made a whiskey sour wrong and that his 3/4 full wineglasses were too small) and angrily get in their faces with a pointy finger, don't be demanding complimentary stuff afterwards! I have never seen a bellini made with that much anger—or vinegary white wine—in my life.

Sue, it means everyone should have sausage this morning.

I have no sausage! I have no pork products of any kind, actually. I suck at the year of Pork already.

I am undecorating my tree. I lasted for about 2 minutes of the Rose Parade and then there was singing. It had to stop.

Fine. No fairies have appeared to help me out. Guess I'm on my own again, just like with the tooth thingy.

So sad to read about Gus first thing in the morning. He will be missed.

But happy Year of the Transgenic Fluorescent Pig, everyone! (Though, technically, I think it's still the year of the dog until February.)