Natter 48 Contiguous States of Denial
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Heh. With my finger pain, which I can now quantify as spraining and respraining, the knowledge makes it worse and I refuse to tweak it myself. It will stay untweaked, even if it needs it, until I can get back to CA and have someone I trusts (and who trusts my feedback on MY OWN FUCKING PAIN) to do it.
I don't want to fear pain, but now that my brain is saying "you're spraining it ON PURPOSE" I am blocked from going there. I hate to have to admit it, but it won.
I don't want to have two chronic pains either. They feedback to each other sometimes, and the finger makes the migraine worse. Bah. I hope the acute phase ends soon.
How inhospitable, really. [link] Jet with Tony Blair on board overshoots runway coming in to Miami. Ooops.
They feedback to each other sometimes, and the finger makes the migraine worse. Bah. I hope the acute phase ends soon.
Oh, that sucks, ita. I've been reading along, hoping you'd find it was the opposite.
I thought I had a really good grasp on pain and what I could deal with well after the long labor I had with Owen (before they let me have the stinkin' epidural). That was until I developed the herniated disc with the lovely chronic back pain. It's one thing to know there's a finish line to the pain. It's another to look down the road and not know if there is an end to it.
I've learned to be more stoic about it because all I'd be doing is complaining--which I don't want to do. But fuck me, it sucks.
Okay, I know I'm sappy (and drunker than I ought to be at this time of night) but I keep hearing dog tags in the hallway and missing my girl.
(Um, to clarify, those are actual dog tags clanging as neighbor dogs go in and out for walks - I'm not
that
far gone that I'm imagining them. Though after talking about my mom, and with the thing with my sis this weekend - eh, it's making me weepy, so I guess I'm far enough. I want my girl back.)
But fuck me, it sucks.
I've blathered on quite a bit about pain, but Cashmere has just summed it up quite tidily.
That was until I developed the herniated disc with the lovely chronic back pain. It's one thing to know there's a finish line to the pain. It's another to look down the road and not know if there is an end to it.
Oh yes, that exactly. I've always been kind of a stoic - I have a very high tolerance (judging from my dentist's reaction, if nothing else), I can handle sharp, hard pain. The ongoing, no end in sight thing, no matter how even if it's not as intense (or god forbid, if it is)? I never got that before, and it's as close a definition of hell as I can get.
I don't tell you so, ita, but I think about you, and worry about you every single day. Sometimes I'm furious that there's nothing that can be done, like, where is Dr. House with the magical cure in act four? Mostly I just worry.
ita, I get very bad headaches from time to time. I have fibromyalgia, so chronic pain is a constant. New pains tend to be acute, even when they are minor. But, DAMN girl! I am baffled and in awe of the fact that you can function at all with your migraines! You must be superwoman!
I'm not superwoman so much as a few steps away from being a wreck. And sometimes when no one's looking, I let myself be just that--a wreck.
I do most of what has to be done, and mostly I do it okay. This has to stop sometime, because there's a basic erosion I don't know how to shore up. But for now I can work around it.
Allyson, I can't tell you not to worry, and I don't know what I could say that would reassure you short of "It doesn't hurt." I will be very glad to tell you that when it is the case. But don't let it bring you down, or anything. A nice casual worry, over a hot drink or something--that works.
