You know, upon reflection, I should have known this was the place to ask the "who tells scary ghost stories at Christmas" question and had everybody's hand go up.

Just think about the image in Scrooged when Bill Murray gets on the elevator with the grim reaper.

You know, upon reflection, I should have known this was the place to ask the "who tells scary ghost stories at Christmas" question and have everybody's hand go up.

I'm telling scary ghost stories at Christmas right now, and it's fucking great!

That's what JUST HAPPENED.

I feel vindicated! I realize this doesn't help you at all, but I'm not sure what I can do to get you out of this adaptation of Sartre's "No Exit".

I love the cheesy parts of christmas. I hav lots of christmas music but it is all in the car so I don't torture Matt toooo much. and christmas specials - except for one I TIVOed that was wrong. which was a continuation of Rudolph. and some how the lumberjack/miner guy ended up in a tutu. and the abomidable snowman was dressed as a fluffy pink bunny. no really. that took irish whiskey to wash away. Of course I work at a public library - we have a holiday sweatshirt we can wear - it says -'Tis the season to be reading. festive.

Hey, has anyone traveled recently with wrapped gifts? I have a totebag full and I wondered if they'll just put them through the machine and be fine, or if they'll want to unwrap anything, which would suck.

Just to help those who might be worried about the whole soy/gay connection. If you have a son, you can stave off any potential gayness by following advice from Dr. Dobson.

[link]

Full of such handy tips like...

Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

There really isn't much advice about staving off gayness in girls which I assume means that there really aren't any gay women.

He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

Okay, this is just creepy. Not in practice, but the way it's stated. Ew.

Think about "Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

Hang your stockings and say your prayers
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.

That's a horror movie.

Actually, it reminds me of David Sedaris's "Six to Eight Black Men."

He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

You could run this as a personal ad in San Francisco and have a new Daddy before dinner.

He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.

Dan Savage says he's been noticing his boyfriend's big penis for years and it hasn't made him any less gay.