Oh, Cashmere..

OWEN CUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW. SANTA CAN SLIP DOWN THE CHIMNEY AND TAKE STUFF BACK.

AND wonder how their parents don't die of a heart attack every five minutes.

You should have heard me yell when I rounded the corner to throw the diaper away. I may have shattered some windows next door.

AND wonder how their parents don't die of a heart attack every five minutes.

It's a medical mystery, I tell ya.

I am looking forward to hearing how Joe handles Emeline at his mom's house Monday after next. It will just be him - I'll be elsewhere for the day. We jokingly call her house "Toddler Death Trap". She has a lot of slate in the house and some with exposed edges. And she lives in a split level, so stairs freaking everywhere that ALL end on the slate. And no toddlerproofing, so she gets into EVERYTHING.

Muahahaha.

Oh dear, Owen sounds like Isaac in about a year. It's gonna get ugly, isn't it? But on the plus side, we now have a white picket containment device in the front, so at least the little bugger can no longer run into the street.

Now all my counter top appliances have to stay unplugged (besides this there was the great Stitch in the Microwave Incident of Aught Six).

Are the outlets also child-proofed? Because if not, the cords may get plugged in as part of another toddler experiment.

We jokingly call her house "Toddler Death Trap".

Oh, yeah. That's a funny joke for that house. Ha ha. Ha.

Please wrap Emeline in bubble wrap before you go over there. The kind with the big bubbles. And, like, three or four layers.

Burrell just reminded me of the only time I've really almost had a heart attack with Em.

She ran into the street the other day when I picked her up from daycare. Usually she stops right by the van door, but for what ever reason, she decided the street was the place to go.

Freaked me right out.

Please wrap Emeline in bubble wrap before you go over there. The kind with the big bubbles. And, like, three or four layers.

In theory - good idea. In practice, Dustin will spend the day popping the bubbles.

Jake was always a runner, rather than a climber. Got OUTSIDE the mall once while my dad was watching him (thank you, automatic door button -- not).

Ben once fell through a first-floor window into a bush, in only his diaper and onesie. Pushed right through the screen in his enthusiasm to see the garbage truck.

Sara is a daredevil. Will climb on any piece of playground equipment, even ones meant for big kids. My adrenaline kicks in the minute we get to the playground. She's also fascinated with the miscrowave and the toaster oven.

Motherhood should really come with an unending prescription for Valium. Or cartons of Sofia, since Mommy's Little Juice Box sounds like much more fun.

Burrell just reminded me of the only time I've really almost had a heart attack with Em.

My nephew almost did the same thing to my BiL the other day. They were all over at my Uncle's house, and my sis went outside for something (I think a bunch of them went for a walk or something), and told the BiL to "watch the baby."

After a few minutes he noticed it was really quiet.

He ran around the house looking for the kid, then realized the front door was open (Nephew already gets "DOAHS," so the screen door was no impediment). He ran outside looking for him, and almost had a heart attack when he spotted the kid at the end of the block.

Now, my uncle lives on a nice quiet residential street, but the nearest cross street just a block away is The Major Street running through town. Nephew was pretty much at it and still walking.

BiL started running toward the kid. Now, he's a big guy, but he's not slow. He's pretty athletic, and used to play football. He got about halfway there when his wife passed him like he was standing still and grabbed nephew by the arm just before he actually hit the street.

I don't even want to think about the look she gave my BiL as she was walking back to the house. Give me chills just to mention it.