This might need to be a tagline.

Possibly a t-shirt.

I know, there should have been a pussy joke in there but I can't often find it.

Wow, we're worse than teenaged boys. They can at least find that much.

Daisy, I'm sorry that you're losing him. I'm glad he had such a full life, and had such a positive impact on so many people. I'm glad you had him for fishing and tea cakes and tree forts. I wish you all peace and gentleness.

Thanks y'all. I'm just a mess. Today's my mom's birthday- so I got to call her and give her happy birthday news. Have a friend's birthday party after work, which I'm just going to go by and drop off the present, say hi and bye so I can go home where I can finally proceed to lose. my. shit.

Doesn't help that I have yet to speak to my father, grandandy's actual son, about any of this. I didn't talk to him Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, when I called him after the hospital or anytime since then. If it weren't for my cousin, I'd feel pretty abandoned.

{{{Daisy}}}

Daisy, so sorry. Take care of yourself.

{{{{Daisy}}}} I'm so sorry, sweetie.

announced to my grandmother he was moving down to Toledo Bend and she was welcome to come

I like this. Peace be with you, grandpa and all.

Oh Daisy, what a blessing to have had such a grand daddy...and what a loss. I'm wishing peace for all of you.

This involves me vetting his emails in tense situations before he sends them and also having long conversations about motivations and outcomes. And I mean LONG.

Robin, that kind of partnership is exactly what I seek. And, I'm telling myself that I'm clear about what that means for me. Your post has me thinking that I need to rethink it.

I truly understand that give and take of partnership. It's about complimenting and supporting. Not always pretty or perfect, but at least clear.

The problem I'm having with Fela is that he supports me in what interests him. He celebrates in ways that work for him. He needs to feel like he is responsible for my happiness (the aforementioned, what I think is weird credit-seeking). And yet, he doesn't seem to be able to take in or retain what I tell him I need.

I am, if not constantly, then pretty damn regularly 'helping' him to see himself in different ways. When he supports me, it's like getting orders from on high. "What you need to do is...or what you are thinking is..." all from his own perspective. Which is where the disconnection from his environment seems to be fitting into the Aspie possibility.

At first I thought it was rank selfishness, but now I truly don't think that is the case.

Sadly, recognizing it and being okay with is are worlds apart for me at the moment.

{{{DJ}}} I love your childhood stories -- you have been so fortunate to have him in your life, but oh, what a hole he will leave behind.

Beej, I'm sorry things are so doubtful and such a struggle right now. Vibing you care and wisdom.

Whoo. Been around the block with Matilda, who had a spectacular day full of smiles and eager engagement with the world and then spent a few minutes too long on the playmat and got overstimulated and stressed-out. Post-walk, she's nursing and starting to relax again. I'd commit a felony for a cup of coffee, but I'm afraid to move.