I can see the "love mom and dad in heaven part." I mean, I don't know much about your relationship with either parent, but I can see how she would include that. The "happy birthday" part does seem odd to me. I would be wondering why she included it. (Like, what's the point to it?)

Matt isn't much of a holiday person, too much family strife. I grew up in a family where the idea of holiday strife was what happened on TV. We had very mellow and relaxed holidays. Interestingly, it has made for a good mix in our family. Thanksgiving is Matt's day to shine. he is the head chef - and loves every minute of it. It gives him a lot to do - so that he doesn't get restless. And he loves to cook. Christmas is my holiday. For me it is a secular, warm up the winter holiday- a lot like thanksgiving. Once I realized it really didn't matter to him, I started doing what I wanted. The tree goes up when I feel like it. I bake, becasue I ant to , but only as much as I feel like doing. I like buying presents, so I do. Matt's jobs at christmas are: 1) buy me presents( which he likes to do) 2) complain about christmas music 3) help me with ideas for his family ( even if it is only a tiny bit) and 4) help me with some of the mechanical process like the getting the tree out of storage and wrapping some of the presents to be shipped.

I can think of other ways we could change things in the future if it needed to change. Like next year I want to get all of the presents mailed on black friday. I have no idea if this is possible, but it would make me much more relaxed. I'm all about the mellow and low key

I read and read and had all sorts of things to say, but others said them already, so no advice to Laura, just punctuation. I hope you got the champagne, if not the mimosas! More punctuation to all the others whose Christmases were less than stellar, for family or other reasons.

Thanks to all for your reassurances and advice re: my uncle. It was helpful and I'm feeling pretty ok about my actions.

My Christmas was quiet and lovely. I didn't get all my prezzies, but that just means I get to look forward to them longer! Mostly, I had a wonderful dinner with friends and watched DVDs with them. Cozy and nice.

When I got home in the evening, I found out that a good friend's mother passed away in the morning. It's never easy, but it was expected and what she (the mother) wanted at this point. While it's hard for my friend and his family, his mother had a good life and a good passing.

yay! one of matt's coworker's wife had her baby at noon yesterday! they were waiting a long hard tiem for one. very happy for them

Man, my mom's hearing is going. K-Bug just came home from shopping at Forever 21 and my mom kept hearing "Five for 21".

I can see the "love mom and dad in heaven part."

Ok, thanks for the perspective, Stephanie.

Yay! I have a couple friends with Christmas birthdays. Somehow it seems less annoying than a couple days before or after. DH opened his birthday gifts on Christmas although his actual birthday is the 28th. This usually happens since that is when he sees people. But it leaves a bit of a whole on the actual birthday. To have your birthday on Christmas gives you the option of pretending all the fuss is for you!

Sorry about your friend's loss libkitty. Even when it is expected and natural it is so hard to say goodbye.

I call my mom on my dad's birthday every year since he died. I think it means a lot to her that it not just go by without being acknowledged.

I can understand your mother's acknowledgement of your dad, Andi. Particularly with his birthday so close to Christmas, it brings back the memories. Also, with her recent relationship ending she is probably more emotional than usual. It's good that she can share this with you.

Laura, that is NOT boys being boys. I always had something for my mother, as far back as I could remember. It might have been an ashtray made in art class (she didn't smoke, but they were easy to make) or some noodle art or something! But SOMETHING was given. The (ex)Catholic in me says "Boys, get your bags packed, cuz Mama is sending you on THE LARGEST GUILT trip EVERRRRR!!! (extra "r"s added as bonus to use with a "G" later).

Dunno when your b-day is, but if they don't spoil you rotten by then, I think it's time for them to go cut a switch to bring in the house. (how am I so old school at 35???)

ION: My last gift is being used finally. I've been here at Sister/BiL for 4+ days. I told them they are getting a date night away from lil 6(almost 7) yo Neice. I finally pushed them out the door. Doing a nice lunch, and hopefully a movie. Half Pint is at the computer playing with some new educational games. Her lunch was eaten in record time, and mess all cleaned up. I got a load of laundry in the wash, and 2nd ready to go when it hits the drier. In a few hours I'll be hitting the road back to sea level. woot! A full size bed!!

Hope all have safe travels back to where they need to go. For those who had family angst, I hope the prezzies fill your life with comfort and joy to make up.