Mememe-est post in the history of ever:

So tired. Very little sleep last night, and since noon today Matilda has been screaming almost inconsolably. Almost, because she does (so far) refrain from crying when she's being fed or held. She'll drop off to sleep in my arms, but if I put her down - even just down in my lap - she wakes up screaming within minutes.

I had to flee the bookstore today (sold a bunch of stuff for $21 store credit, which I need to stretch out to cover most of my gift list) because she was being That Baby, and the walk home took almost an hour with all the stopping every few yards to hold and rock or nurse her. And I've been holding and rocking and nursing her all afternoon. The screaming is shredding me.

(Hec isn't here; he's out running necessary book and temp-job errands, and anyhow he lacks the lactation so she'd just scream even more if he were here and I tried to hand her off.)

I feel like I've done nothing but piss and moan and whine about exhaustion and money since she was born, and here I am doing it again. Fuck. I don't want to be this kind of parent or wife or Bitch, and I don't want this to be my daughter's first Christmas. Can I possibly get a do-over on the last three months? That's all I need, really.

JZ, it sounds like you need a friend to come over and give you some support. Is there someone you can call?

(I mean, obviously we're here, but bodily present help is a big help).

I was just about to ask if you wanted me to come up tomorrow or next weekend, JZ.

Do you?

{{{JZ}}} Poor you. You sound so frayed and exhausted. I agree with flea. Is there anyone you could call to come over?

And, you don't piss and whine and moan all the time. Hell, you were just sharing amazing pictures that you love.

Hang in there.

And, totally unrelated, Steph, insent.

I don't want to be this kind of parent or wife or Bitch,

Sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but we all are. We all piss and moan about the stuff that is breaking us. The first 6 months of motherhood were the hardest for me. It's daily chore just to get through without ripping your tits off or selling the baby to the highest bidder on CraigsList. Same goes for the husband. And we have all been blessed with wonderful, supportive spouses. I think it's just inherent.

We are your Bitches, your sounding board, your sisters and brothers in parenthood, your sometimes surrogate spouses, and most importantly, your friends. If you can't piss and moan to us, then who can you?

Call someone to come and take over for a spell. Then take a walk around the block and try to think of pretties.

What Aimee said, JZ. I read those posts and nod like a bobble-head. It's normal and you need support. It's ok to vent that stuff because if you don't vent, you'll feel isolated and crazy. When you're not. Everyone feels that way.

I wish I was closer so I could trade your screamer for the one of mine who keeps stuffing interesting things into the toilet to see what'll happen.

I mean, obviously we're here, but bodily present help is a big help

It would be, but the only person I can think of is working weekends right now. If I'd had the good sense to hit my limit a couple of hours earlier, I might have pinged a localista or three, but at 5:00 on a Saturday there's probably noone about (speaking of which, I can't remember the last time Emily posted -- has middle school succeeded in eating her from her bottom?)

It does kinda help just being here with y'all, actually.

Mememe-est post in the history of ever:

Not. even. close.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JZ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

(speaking of which, I can't remember the last time Emily posted -- has middle school succeeded in eating her from her bottom?)

I just talked to her a little while ago, actually. She's on break and leaving for vacation tomorrow morning.

More {{{{JZ}}}}