{{{Cashmere}}} Oh, honey, I am so sorry about everything.

I've made it clear that in my house we believe in Santa. Period. House rule. The boys have always had friends that didn't celebrate Christmas. Rule applies to them too. The friends know there is no dissin' the Santa in my house.

This is my parents' house. I believe and I still get prezzies from Santa.

Raq, your DH is being insane.

Hee! Cindy is me in everything today, including the multitude of disbelief about the fat calipers (and the damned demons). Calipers? Jeeze, Raq, Has he met you? Beauty.

Stockings, when we lived in Alaska, always included an orange, either mandarin or navel; a handful of nuts; and Christmas candy. It might also have an apple or a pear, but the orange was a requirement. It wasn't for putting toys in. I can't remember when the little toys started appearing.

I just remembered the other day that stockings often appeared at the end of our beds during the night. We had a wood stove, but no fireplace/mantel thing. Some years, I believe the stockings appeared on the knobs of our bedroom doors.

FAT CALIPERS? WTF?

Trudy, they do make diapers for incontinent dogs. I saw some called Peepers while I was trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

The thought of changing a dog's diapers in addition to the 8-10 diapers I already change a day makes me what to cry. We'll most likely muddle through until after New Year's at least before I make any decision about Mac. I can keep her in the laundry room most of the day (she really just sleeps 90 % of her day away now, anyway).

Left a message for my neuro specialist. Waiting for a call back. I'll have to go in to see her and she'll look at the MRI and give me a number to call for a surgeon.

And Owen's little, plastic Stitch doll almost died a gruesome death this morning. He put him in the microwave--he didn't get to melt him before I discovered what he was doing. The microwave stays unplugged until an adult has to use it for now.

I am stunned at your DH, Raq. I agree with Cindy: has he met a woman? Ever? Sheesh. He's being an utter dumbass.

So my work internet has gone all spotty, but I am thwarting it through the use of my phone. Muwahahahahaha.

Well heck. I just went from zero to DO AS I SAY NOW ASSERTIVE on someone over the phone. Regarding work stuff. I had three folks come over and applaud when I hung up.

Not sure where that came from.

FAT CALIPERS? WTF?

Yeah, that. Son's coach does that stuff. He is like 3% or something. Jock. I told him the words fat percentage and mom do not belong in the same sentence. He usually gets when I am absolute about something.

I can see my husband demanding to use the fat calipers on me, though he'd phrase it because he's passionately interested in my health and he needs this information. I can also see a big fight when I refuse.

Fat calipers.

Fat calipers.

FAT CALIPERS??

You should take them and measure his fat head.

Agreed with everyone on the insanity of the fat calipers. DH needs some schooling on womenfolk.

Fat calipers? FAT CALIPERS? Take out a ruler and tell him you need to measure his dick.

Or, y'know, not.