In my situation (I don't feel I can speak to anyone else's), I feel like the birthday card was a copout. A way of feeling like she was trying to make amends without, you know, actually having to try and make amends.
Which is why the tearing up of the card was totally okay. Actually, would have been okay (with me) even if she really was trying to be amendycakes because you get to choose who is in your life and she'd already caused you pain and betrayal.
Personally, I am still rather surprised when I have more than a couple of close female friends. Just that historically more of my friends have been male. I have a couple of women friends that have lasted more than 20 years and anything newer than those relationships, is unexpected. Just how it is.
wonder if maybe it seems women hurt us worse or more, because we expect them to know better or understand our feelings better. Not because they're all closer to the earth empathycakes, but because they're supposed to be one of us.
I would say that this plays a large part of it. I feel more betrayed when a woman friend lets me down than when a man friend does.
Oh dear heavens, my college alumni association found me.
Who was it that said that we should get the alumni folks looking for Bin Laden?
Based solely on my own experience, I think that guys only befriend girls that they are interested in dating and hope they get lucky one day.
I’m not sure that’s true. I have a lot of male friends. Of the straight ones, I think that many of them would sleep with me if I gave them the chance, but they don’t want to date me.
I have more male friends now than ever. I think I'm too much woman for most of them, though.
Amen. (for you and me)
Very few of the guys I know more than passingly ever make moves on me. Perhaps it's the unsparkle of my personality.
Or the fact that you could kill them with your pinky? :)
Which is nice...except that I never make moves on guys, so it kinda sucks to know I won't be rescued from my own cowardice/issues by someone I've known a while.
Yep. I’ve had a depressingly large number of male friends say something to the effect of being interested in me at some point, but, based on my personality, assumed that if I was interested, I would have said something.
I feel more betrayed when a woman friend lets me down than when a man friend does.
Oh, yes. Like if a man friend gets a girlfriend, I expect to be dropped like a hot potato, but it hurts my feelings when a female friend does it.
I have more male friends now than ever. I think I'm too much woman for most of them, though.
My guy friends know me well enough that I wouldn't have them as more than friends, and most stranger guys are too intimidated. Which pleases me.
Of the straight ones, I think that many of them would sleep with me if I gave them the chance, but they don’t want to date me.
Ha. Yeah, I think that's more accurate.
Based solely on my own experience, I think that guys only befriend girls that they are interested in dating and hope they get lucky one day.
I gotta sex myself up some then, because I have had many male friends that aren't looking to score with me.
And some that have hoped that they would. Both situations have happened with female friends as well.
But I've felt the same way about some friends as well myself.
I gotta sex myself up some then, because I have had many male friends that aren't looking to score with me.
I dunno, Cass, see my comment above.
All my best friends have been girls/women. All my guy friends have eventually ended up making moves on me. Based solely on my own experience, I think that guys only befriend girls that they are interested in dating and hope they get lucky one day.
In defense of males (or at least a small portion thereof)...
Most of my friends are female. And I haven't befriended them because I want to date them. In fact, most of them seem safer as friends because either I'm not interested in them or they're not interested in me. Or because they're unavailable since they're spoken for. Does that make any sense at all?
Well if people don't know me well enough to know that I am hopelessly shy and unable to let them know I am interested, they deserve to remain in the friends zone. Or I deserve it.
It's safer there anyway. Things can get really strange once you leave that zone. Sometimes it works and sometimes we just don't have any further relationship at all.
I generally figure out someone likes me when we are living together. And even then sometimes I am not sure.
This post brought to you by: Arrrrrgggggghhhh, with a generous contribution of Topic Change. How 'bout them Mets?
My problem is that I'm so aggressive and uninhibited about everything else, how are they supposed to know that I'm an insecure blob of jelly when it comes to romance? I mean, I understand why people like me and hang out with me, but I can't quite fathom anyone wanting to date me.
