Yeah, she's 54. And even this "small" T-giving is going to have 25 or so folks at it, so she can bite me.

But by bringing something, or participating beyond just showing up, I would never have reason to boggle. Different vibe.

Totally different vibe. Specially when you toss in that the cousin brings friends that expect to eat. For free, essentially. And none of them ever brought anything? What. Ever.

My dad's side of the family has a big Christmas do. They get a conference room at a hotel, everybody brings booze and food, and they party it up. Those who don't want to participate, don't.

I kind of can't believe that, either. I mean, hello? If you're an adult, you help.

Although I will say that there are women in my family for whom putting dinner on the table is a point of pride. At the family reunion this year, during which we celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday, she made at least four dishes to bring to the ginormous potluck lunch on Saturday. And then went home and made a coffee cake for us for Sunday morning.

My immediate family is small, so big Thanksgiving and Christmas were always a real treat for me.

This. My immediate family is tiny. My mom is an only child, my dad only has one sister, there's only my brother and me, blah blah. I love it when my mom hosts orphans for Thanksgiving, but this year it's just us, my parents, and my crazy (other) grandmother. My brother and his family are too far away, and he has duty that day.

Yeah, she's 54.

Ok, I just boggled even more.

I said I only kinda get it, and that she should bring something.

My friend from back home who lives in LA now is in town tonight, and will be back Sunday for my Saint-tastic birthday. People are really into visiting me this month.

Cousin has accused them of selfishness and said they ruined the holiday. It kind of blows my mind.

Well, you know, they *did* ruin it. For FREELOADERS.

Yeah, she's 54. And even this "small" T-giving is going to have 25 or so folks at it, so she can bite me.

Yeah. We got your cranberry sauce, right 'ere.

Totally different vibe. Specially when you toss in that the cousin brings friends that expect to eat. For free, essentially. And none of them ever brought anything? What. Ever.

Well, and even if she had been one to bring a lot, in years past, if the 80 year olds don't feel like it any more, they get to quit. Someone else can hire the hall, do all the shopping, cooking, organizing, and whatnot, if they want the tradition to continue.

I said I only kinda get it, and that she should bring something.

Oh Daisy, I think we're boggled at her behavior, not at you getting it. I get anyone being disappointed at the end of a family tradition. But to read that the person who did nothing (except bring other freeloaders) told the women who did all the work that they were selfish to stop doing all the work is different than being disappointed. It's a real stunning sense of entitlement.

(edited for clarity)

DJ, what Cindy said. Totally.

What those two said.