T-1 hour to the party. Mom's best friend called and she IS coming, so thank heaven for small favors. I'm hinding in my room trying to find a calm space. Everything is in place and now it is just waiting. But I told her that my friends weren't coming until later - so I can appear to be absolutely done - ya know?

Gardettos rock! LJ being down doesn't help me with finding distractions.

I realized last night as I was going to bed that I had lost an earring. Tragedy as they were made by an artist friend of mine and I wear them all of the time. Today I realized that it might have come off when I took off a nubly turtleneck sweater so I checked and found my earring! So happy. I had already plotted out my email to Mike asking him for another pair of moonstones but now? I have my pretty, pretty earrings back.

Suzi, have a lovely time at the party. I am sure it will be wonderful.

Potato soup.

How do I already want a nap?

because naps are made. of. awesome.?

how come I'll cheerfully watch tv all day on a saturday until I'm sick and now that I shouldn't go out its all I want to do?

Huh.

My brother just called me. The one who, last we spoke the day after Easter, screamed many nasty things and then hung up on me? Wants to know what I want for Christmas... How to phrase, "Not have to deal with you." in a nice way. Or a passive aggressive way, I'm flexible.

Ironically, I have some other tabs open looking for flights back to San Diego for both my parent's Christmas party and then for Christmas itself.

Denial and repression, it's what's for Christmas.

Today I went to a Nanowrimo write in. Before that Mom, my bro and FSIL brought over the desk Mom's friend gave her for me. Honestly, it's too big for this place, it just dominates the whole area and I have no idea where I'm going to put the tv now.

But It's a bigger desk and it has a hutch (which I may or may not use depending on how much larger it makes the desk look) and I'm tired of small desks with no work space. I can push in the keyboard draw and angle the monitor so now I can sit here and write.

It was such a hassle to get this in here I'll live it with it for at least half a year. I'm going to make a reading corner in my bedroom where the computer was -- put up two bookshelves and one of my recliners and a end table with a lamp. It will be a nice use of the space.

Denial and repression, it's what's for Christmas.

I've got songs for that.

::checks::

Yeah I've got three different songs called "Merry Fucking Christmas."

actually , over time you may thing=k of a better way to use the desk . that happened with my old desk- which was my mom's - It was sorta sitting unsed - and now - it is where my bead stuff goes. and I found a place where I can put a bad movie on and bead - with out killing my body.

sad now. Matt just left for a work trip. usually, this isn't a big deal, but I guess because he has been sick I'm just a teeny tiny bit worried , because he won't get enought sleep or good food. ( dispatch centers live on donuts and they go to places where the theme is "all the meat you can eat")

Now those perfectly sum up my holiday feelings. Can it be January now?

Now those perfectly sum up my holiday feelings. Can it be January now?

I will be posting my Wassail Up? fucked up xmas song mix sometime after Thanksgiving. Pick Hits: "Dead, Dead, Dead" from South Park, "Saddest Day of the Year" - Jill Sobule, "Put It In Your Eggnog" - Ice Cube; "We Wish You A Hairy Chestwig" - Ren & Stimpy, "Xmas in Tattooine" - Uni & Dr. Trucker, and "Merry Fucking Christmas" - Denis Leary.

I've been trying to find the best way to tell my parents that I won't be going to Tucson for Christmas.

I wonder if just not showing up would work.