A friend of mine here is Swedish. She was telling me that in Sweden, women get 80% of their pay while on maternity leave and many companies chip in another 10%. The amount of time varies, based on whether you take your pay for 5 or 7 days a week, but at 5 days a week it lasts almost 18 months.

I'm so sorry, JZ, you are having to deal with all this crap. I'm glad to hear the HR woman is at least trying to help.

I'm currently dealing with my own daycare woes. My new HR person is telling me that they will pay for Ellie to go to place A, but the people at A say they have no idea what I'm talking about. Place B says they will have a spot for her *any day* but they've been saying that for a month.

A friend of mine here is Swedish. She was telling me that in Sweden, women get 80% of their pay while on maternity leave and many companies chip in another 10%. The amount of time varies, based on whether you take your pay for 5 or 7 days a week, but at 5 days a week it lasts almost 18 months.

Ah, see, clearly the perfect solution is to move to Sweden!

they only certify you off for a vaginal delivery for six weeks. And you have to be off for a month before you can collect this short term disability. So, in fact, their maternity leave consists of 2 weeks at 60% pay.

OMG, Cash, that's awful. I'm practically crying for you right now.

Lack of adequate PAID maternity (and paternity) leave in this country is criminal to me, as is affordable daycare.

Yup, this. Even the break Bill Clinton managed to cut for working parents doesn't do much if you're living paycheck to paycheck or your benefits situation is convoluted enough that you don't have access to much paid leave and can't afford much unpaid leave.

One of the hugest, bitterest clashes I've seen, over and over, on non-Buffista message boards is headbutting between parents and nonparents over maternity/paternity leave, flextime, subsidized daycare, etc. in the US. The nonparents feel jerked over by having to cover for the parents and having "Why won't you think of the CHILDRUN??1!1?" crammed down their throats incessantly, and the parents feel like they're running ragged, juggling bills and not seeing their kids enough and incredibly jerked over by a society that keeps cramming "Why won't you think the CHILDRUN??1!1?" down everyone's throats and doing next to nothing in the way of policy or subsidies to make anything one bit easier for those who have the CHILDRUN.

Practicaly every single perk and privilege that nonparents feel bitter about has been hard-won and grudgingly given (and really should be given to anyone with any family responsibilities -- USians with adult dependents generally have a worse and grimmer fight than parents; it's fucking ridiculous. And don't even bother about USians without any dependents who would just like some flextime in order to have lives that don't entirely revolve around the convenience of their corporate overlords -- that's just craxy talk.).

Huh. I thought I'd put on my flowered skirt today, but apparently I accidentally grabbed the rantypants instead.

Huh. I thought I'd put on my flowered skirt today, but apparently I accidentally grabbed the rantypants instead.

Well, you are funny no matter what.

I have to say, my feelings on the topic have totally changed since Ellie was born and I'm not even working. I really regret some of the decisions I made back when I had parents of young kids working for me. I just didn't get it.

Just found out DH will be heading to Rhode Island for almost a week next month.

I want to grab someone by the lapels and yell at them, "Ok. You want every child conceived born. I get that, I truly do. But Jeebus, Marina, and Jack make it easier to have the children and stay home for a decent amount of time without having to declare bankruptcy. Oh wait. We can't do even THAT anymore."

Effers.

Non-parent who's all for subsidized daycare and flextime. I'm surprised this isn't more of a battle here in Utah--highest birthrate in the country, often compared to certain 3rd world countries, babyee!--but it's not. There is lots of daycare, but I can't vouch for its quality. There's also lots of leaving the kids with family, which can be good, but the family member in question probably has two or three kids, and the mother is dropping off two or three kids. "Ideally", of course, mom is staying home with her brood.

There is also lots of part-time work, which is where many less-educated mothers end up. More-educated mothers end up in good jobs and make tough decisions.

To give the state credit--or at least the employers I've worked with--maternity leave is a big issue and is probably more generous than other places. I'm thinking that it's not as large a priority, because for the vast majority of the women here, in the base of their skull is always the little voice of "I should really be at home."

(not to denigrate any mother who would rather be at home but does a kickass job at work etc. etc.)

and the parents feel like they're running ragged, juggling bills and not seeing their kids enough and incredibly jerked over by a society that keeps cramming "Why won't you think the CHILDRUN??1!1?" down everyone's throats and doing next to nothing in the way of policy or subsidies to make anything one bit easier for those who have the CHILDRUN.

Yes, this. It's horrible how this country crams the sanctity of THE CHILDRUN down our throats but does abso-fucking-nothing to support parents. Also, nothing to support people who may think- hm, I don't have the money to even have this child for the first few months, let alone the rest of their lives, are there any alternatives?

100% in JZ's corner, and I don't have kids and may never, but there's no way you can expect society to grow and function properly if you're squeezing the life out of it. There's going to have to be some tradeoffs for increased productivity.

Just found out DH will be heading to Rhode Island for almost a week next month.

Come with him.