Those G-D therapists and their actual POINTS.

(Mine says this, too.)

Yeah yeah yeah, those darn shrinks and their darn "insights". They say it so much it sounds almost, you know, TAPED! HAH!

Nice Boy, btw, has a very very cute ass.

I found this out at my Birthday party when I was all drunk and grabby and we were dancing together. You'd THINK that copping a feel during Unchained Melody would be tricky, but somehow I managed.

The following is a sample tape from a therapists head

Why do you think you feel that way? How does that make you feel? Why do you think you feel that way? How does that make you feel? Ahhhh..now we're getting somewhere. Where do you think that reaction comes from? Show me how you felt when that happened. How does that make you feel? Give me $200.

I'm leaving work.

Hitting the grocery store.

Picking up the girl.

Then GOING TO THE GAME.

No One Will Ever Love Me For Me, I'm Too Fat To Ever Be Considered Attractive, and I Wasted My Twenties And I'm A Failure !

Add "And My Thirties" and yes...that's mine

Add "And My Forties" to mine.

God, tapes . . . Would My Life Be Better If I Hadn't Married Him?, If You Were A Real Writer You'd Be Published, When Your Family Discusses You They Say 'Oh, That's Right, There Is Someone Else We're Related To', and, number one, You're 46, When Are You Going To Take The Fact You're Getting Older More Seriously?

Tom has met Nice Boy.

(I assume Tom has no opinion on his ass)

This one of my most favorite songs from Dr Demento:

Everything reminds me of my therapist. My checkbook reminds me of my therapist. Kleenex reminds me of my therapist. People yawning remind me of my therapist. And you remind me of my therapist but you don’t cost a thing.

People nodding reminds me of my therapist specially when I’m rambling on and on not making a whole lot of sense about things that are totally unrelated but she seems to make sense out of them. Clocks and watches remind me of my therapist the way her eyes dart back and forth between me and the time. Pillows remind me of my therapist specially when I beat them up. Empty chairs remind me of my therapist specially when I talk to them. And you remind me of my therapist but you don’t cost a thing.

Sometimes when I am in the chair and she begins to stare I wonder if she likes me or not. But I know if I asked her she would turn it around and say why is it important for you to know? I’d say I really don’t know why I want to know it’s just something I was wondering about. But the real question is. The one that I can’t ask her. If you weren’t my therapist- would you be my friend? Or do you have to like me because I pay you?

Laughter reminds me of my therapist. My childhood reminds me of my therapist. My therapist reminds me of my childhood- thanks a lot. My dog reminds me of my therapist the way she cocks her head and listens without any judgments at all. Do I remind you of a therapist? Why do I remind you of a therapist? I hear you saying that I remind you of a therapist. Is it my calm demeanor that reminds you of a therapist? Unanswered questions remind me of my therapist. If you remind me of my therapist we’ll probably get along.

You people are sooooooooooo slacking. I WILL talk about the boy more, see if I won't! Ask Debet and Cassie, this can go on and on and on...

He has ten siblings. Some half, some adopted, some he grew up with, some not...

This is my favorite therapist song:

Joni Mitchell's Twisted:

My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
The way he described it
He said I'd be better dead than live
I didn't listen to his jive
I knew all along
That he was all wrong
And I knew that he thought
I was crazy but I'm not
Oh no

My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
He said I'd need treatment
But I'm not that easily led
He said I was the type
That was most inclined
When out of his sight
To be out of my mind
And he thought I was nuts
No more ifs or ands or buts

They say as a child
I appeared a little bit wild
With all my crazy ideas
But I knew what was happening
I knew I was a genius...
What's so strange when you know
That you're a wizard at three
I knew that this was meant to be

Now I heard little children
Were supposed to sleep tight
That's why I got into the vodka one night
My parents got frantic
Didn't know what to do
But I saw some crazy scenes
Before I came to
Now do you think I was crazy
I may have been only three
But I was swinging

They all laugh at angry young men
They all laugh at Edison
And also at Einstein
So why should I feel sorry
If they just couldn't understand
The idiomatic logic
That went on in my head
I had a brain
It was insane
Oh they used to laugh at me
When I refused to ride
On all those double-decker buses
All because there was no driver on the top

My analyst told me
That I was right out of my head
But I said dear doctor
I think that it's you instead
Because I have got a thing
That's unique and new
To prove it I'll have
The last laugh on you
'Cause instead of one head
I got two
And you know two heads are better than one Edit to prove I can edit.