Mostly, I just really don't want to let it go so far that she's completely in love with me and I'm not headed there

Do you know you're not headed there, or is that conjecture at this point?

Do you know you're not headed there, or is that conjecture at this point?

That's just it - I don't know. I don't know how to tell if I'm heading there or not, because it's always been so fast for me to fall into serious twiterpatedness.

I don't like her any less today than I did last week, but I don't really like her any more either, despite spending about 30 hours with her this weekend. My emotions are at about the same place. Which is "I like this girl," but not "ZOMG heart pitter-patter I shall spend a lot of time grinning and dancing about and fantasizing about marriage and babies and making up poetic nicknames for the Buffistas!"

I think it's probably too early for me to assume I'll never get to that point, but... when do I know?

Is there a reason you're pressuring yourself to know now? I just wonder if dating and hanging out with a girl you find funny and interesting without it being something serious right now is an okay thing for you. I, personally, see nothing wrong with dating her and getting to know her before making any decisions.

You're not leading her on, right? You're 23. You're supposed to be dating and having fun. Relationships don't always have to be serious.

Relationships, for me, tend to be serious. I'm not sure I know how to do a non-serious one, or if I'd want to.

I'm pressuring myself to know now for her benefit as much as mine, because I think she's really starting to like me, and trust me. As is too often the case with smart, somewhat quirky girls, she hasn't had much luck with relationships in the past, and I don't want to be another mark in her "Not Worthy of Love" evidence book.

Which is probably overdramatic.

I don't think I'm leading her on, but I'm worried I might be doing so accidentally. It's happened before. I could fix, if it's happening, by actually talking to her, making it clear how strongly I feel (or don't feel) in actual communication. A strange concept, in the dating world.

Can you talk to her about it so that she knows where you stand? You like her and you like hanging out with her, but you're not feeling that smitten thing. It could develop, it could not develop, but you want to keep spending time with her.

Unless, of course, you don't want to keep spending time with her and this nix all that!

Gris, you're sexually compatible and you enjoy spending time with her, so I would just tell her that you are not sure you are looking for a serious long term commitment right now(which to me sounds a lot better than I am not sure if I can head over heels for you yet), but you want to see where this leads. Also, you're young and I think you should take some of the pressure off yourself. However, at 29 I am in my first long term relationship of my life, so take my advice fwiw.

Yep. Talking is good. Gonna do that. Now, gonna go to bed. Should've gotten more work done today. Still sick. Tomorrow will suck. Bah.

Feel better, Gris. I finished my schoolwork and am headed to be now too. Night, Bitches!

Well talk about a cocksucker.

I ran out of quilt squares.

Well talk about a cocksucker.

Not gonna say it. Not gonna say it.