I'm not liking being alone, but it's a weird feeling, and not one that makes me want to seek others out.

To the extent it is within our power you are not alone. Post about it as much as you care to if that helps at all.

Are there other KCistas?

Gudanov is there about. tina (mostly in the music thread) was from Lawrence until this year. Now she's in Chicago.

What Gar said, ita.

It will, if I recall correctly from my friend Jesse's death this May, continue to dominate your brain for a while, until it doesn't, which may well feel just as strange.

My progression with my Mom's death was something like: grief (primal, powerful, more like anger than sadness), acceptance, loss (pangs, aching), depression, and then a gradual absorption of the loss. Not that it goes away exactly, but that loss is just a fact of your existence after a time.

Jilli!

[link]

Blargh. We're back to the hospital tonight.

It's not terribly serious or dire, but S feels bad enough that we can't really wait (and the doctor said we shouldn't, under such circumstances) until our next appointment on Thursday, or even until Tuesday, which would probably be the soonest we could call and request a walk-in visit. Here's hoping this is a very brief stay before we get S back home again. I suspect it will be.

Hang in there, Sean, and please remember to call us if you need anything.

Sean, I'm with you in spirit, as I'm in Vermont for vacation -- Dad and I arrived yesterday afternoon, and this morning at 6:30 we took him to Central Vermont Hospital with chest pains and a numb left arm.

All signs are excellent that it wasn't a heart attack, but it was one bastard of a stressful way to start a day/vacation. He's staying overnight in the hospital, and I'm going to crawl into bed and just whimper. I thought that sharing my Dad-cardiac-crisis stress with my brother -- for once -- would help, but it was worse, b/c my bro hasn't had to deal with this for 6-7 years or more, and he was freaked out this morning and so I had to calm him down, too.

Fortunately, I met Nora and Tom for many many beers and yummy food this afternoon, and that was an utter joy. It was fantastic.

And now I go to bed.

Seanie, hang in there. We love you. And we love S. for loving you.

Ah, damn, Sean. Vibing for you and S. Let me know if you and she need a bookish care package.

ita, coming in very late, but I'm so very sorry. Marni sounds like an amazing woman, and everyone else has already said everything I could possibly say about grief and mourning and talking about it all as much or as little as you need to completely without apology. This time it's not just what scrappy said; everyone is wise and eloquent and kind. I'm just so sorry, for you and all the krav people and her family and her own good self.

eta: Vibing for Teppy too, and your dad, and I'm so glad you had Nora and Tom about for beer and company.

New favorite comic ever: [link]

Math angst!