Aw. Sail, that's a lovely ping of memory.

Thanks, deb. I've been following the drabbles in the LJ version of Great Write, but I don't know that I'm ready to expose myself to that large a community yet. I know and trust you guys. I'll expand my horizons when I feel a little more comfortable.

Sail, I'm a big fan of comfort zones for this kind of work. Anything that's needed to get the writer comfortable enough to tell the story is a damned good thing.

I've had an epiphany. Can I share?

I've had an epiphany. Can I share?

Hell, no!

Oh, OK. Sure. (:

Yup!

Yes, but you have to wait until January 6th.

I was just about to say, hmmmm, rusty on the whole Christian calendar thing, but surely Epiphany....

Sail beats me to it.

Hee, I lived in Spain for three years. Epiphany is a huge event there. Parades and a Mardi Gras-like attitude with beads, candy and money flying through the air. Great fun!

OK. Besides the issues I mentioned last night, I've been really bummed over how thoroughly my writing was rejected in 2004. Rejected magazine queries. Contest scores depressingly near the mean, and even in one case below it. Agent rejections barely better than form letters.

I was forced to conclude that I'm not actually as talented as I previously believed. That while I'm good at the basic mechanics of writing, and have a certain flair for dialogue and characterization, I'm not half so brilliant and unique as I thought. Now that I'm competing with serious writers instead of everyone who has to write something for work or school, I'm actually quite....ordinary.

You're all probably saying, "Well, DUH!" But this really depressed me for awhile. Because I always thought if I was extraordinary at anything at all, it was writing. I wanted and expected to be uniquely brilliant. When my first novel wasn't good enough to sell, when I didn't final in every contest I entered, I started to think that meant I didn't have what it takes.

But then it occurred to me that talent and excellence are not the same thing. As is usual with me, I realized this through a sports analogy. I thought of my favorite athletes--Michelle Kwan, Edgar Martinez, Ichiro Suzuki--and realized that none of them is the most naturally talented at what they do (though Ichiro comes closer than the other two). What they all have is enough natural talent to belong in their sport's elite. What's made them the best, or among the best, is hard work, intelligence, concentration, and caring about all the myriad little details that lead to excellence.

So. Maybe I don't have as much raw talent as certain authors who sold their first manuscripts and had immediate success. But I do think I have enough talent to be a professional writer. Converting that talent into excellence is up to me, and will take work. And being a naturally good writer who works her way into excellence is just as worthy as being brilliant out of the gate.