I was just about to say, hmmmm, rusty on the whole Christian calendar thing, but surely Epiphany....

Sail beats me to it.

Hee, I lived in Spain for three years. Epiphany is a huge event there. Parades and a Mardi Gras-like attitude with beads, candy and money flying through the air. Great fun!

OK. Besides the issues I mentioned last night, I've been really bummed over how thoroughly my writing was rejected in 2004. Rejected magazine queries. Contest scores depressingly near the mean, and even in one case below it. Agent rejections barely better than form letters.

I was forced to conclude that I'm not actually as talented as I previously believed. That while I'm good at the basic mechanics of writing, and have a certain flair for dialogue and characterization, I'm not half so brilliant and unique as I thought. Now that I'm competing with serious writers instead of everyone who has to write something for work or school, I'm actually quite....ordinary.

You're all probably saying, "Well, DUH!" But this really depressed me for awhile. Because I always thought if I was extraordinary at anything at all, it was writing. I wanted and expected to be uniquely brilliant. When my first novel wasn't good enough to sell, when I didn't final in every contest I entered, I started to think that meant I didn't have what it takes.

But then it occurred to me that talent and excellence are not the same thing. As is usual with me, I realized this through a sports analogy. I thought of my favorite athletes--Michelle Kwan, Edgar Martinez, Ichiro Suzuki--and realized that none of them is the most naturally talented at what they do (though Ichiro comes closer than the other two). What they all have is enough natural talent to belong in their sport's elite. What's made them the best, or among the best, is hard work, intelligence, concentration, and caring about all the myriad little details that lead to excellence.

So. Maybe I don't have as much raw talent as certain authors who sold their first manuscripts and had immediate success. But I do think I have enough talent to be a professional writer. Converting that talent into excellence is up to me, and will take work. And being a naturally good writer who works her way into excellence is just as worthy as being brilliant out of the gate.

Yes, but you have to wait until January 6th.

t thwaps Sail

Susan, being brilliant out the gate is no guarantee of anything, either. Trust me on that.

I can't really comment on the details of this, because I have a dead spot on the whole question of "worthy". Not sure what that means, but it does obviously have both meaning and importance for you, and that being the case, allow me to offer a big old "GO for it!"

Susan, I'm not sure what you mean by "worthy" here, either. The point is to be published, yes? To make a living (or something like it) writing books that others will read? If that happens right off the bat, or after some rewrites, revisions, and refocusing, isn't the point still that you're working?

Also, I think a hard lesson to learn, for example, is that a natural facility with language does not necessarily mean you have a natural facility for the story itself. I don't -- I can play with words and imitate styles and create different voices and tones the live-long day, but I always have a problem with plot. It takes me a while to figure out what story I want to tell, and how best to do it -- if I let it flow completely naturally from brain to keyboard, it would meander and stop and stare at shiny things, and spin around and clap its hands a few times, and only then hopefully get to the point.

By the same token, I know there are writers who have a clear idea of story but struggle with crafting the words or images to tell it.

Point here being, it almost always takes some kind of work for ninety-eight percent of the writers out there. I think it's admirable (and sometimes motivating) to set your goals high, for your writing itself and its success, but maybe not to set your expectations that high.

Point here being, it almost always takes some kind of work for ninety-eight percent of the writers out there. I think it's admirable (and sometimes motivating) to set your goals high, for your writing itself and its success, but maybe not to set your expectations that high.

No. It takes some kind of work for 100% of the writers out there, and any writer who says differently is lying.

I have no trouble with story, or characters, or voice. But I have six books published, and there has only been one that didn't leave me glaring at the computer at least ten times during the writing of it, muttering under my breath, reaching for a research resource, realising that there were holes in my take on a given thing, and that meant research, more research, smoothing it out, translating it into the story.

I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of competing with oneself, which is how "worthy" in that context comes across. But then, I don't like competition and I don't really see it helping my work, so I avoid it, no matter who it may be with. Your personal style may definitely vary.

I guess what I mean by worthy is that I don't just want to be published, I want to be a great writer. To keep with the sports analogy, I don't want to make league minimum. I want to be Ichiro. But my problem is I was expecting to be Ichiro already, and without having done a tenth the amount of work at my craft he has at his.

if I let it flow completely naturally from brain to keyboard, it would meander and stop and stare at shiny things, and spin around and clap its hands a few times, and only then hopefully get to the point.

Actually, this is me. And I have trouble putting in enough conflict--if I follow my instincts, my stories come out kind of like the meandering, episodic 19th and early 20th century girls' books I love so much, where everyone gets along except for minor tiffs resolved within a chapter. Oh, and my visual imagination is seriously lacking, though my writers group says I'm getting much better and they can actually picture my scenes now.

t Rubs head.

Ow.

Didn't someone say (paraphrasing here) writing is 2% inspiration, 98% perspiration? Probably one of the reasons I've never seriously considered being a writer, I hate to perspire. Susan, more power to you that you're willing to put in the effort.

It takes some kind of work for 100% of the writers out there

You're right there, although you know there are writers who do lie about how easy it comes for them. I mean, writing itself is work, no matter how smoothly or quickly it flows. I guess I meant there are maybe two percent of writers who don't have to work *too* much harder than translating from brain to paper.

I'm the stare-at-the-computer, swear-a-lot, sulk, research, glare-at-the-ceiling sort when something isn't working for me.