I'd always seen excellence as something more objective than the way you use it, Susan.

I will, no matter how much intensity and focus I bring to the table, probably only ever be excellent at the martial arts. And not even that excellent. I can draw or take photographs pretty well, and work at them both, but they're no less my passions for me not being as good as them, and they're certainly not excellent.

Thing is, I don't really mean it subjectively. I mean, I started way too late to ever land a triple lutz or get the kind of amplitude in a spiral that the elite skaters get. I'm not trying to achieve the impossible. What I am trying to do (or will be, when I can afford ice time again) is to do everything I can do to the highest standard of excellence for that skill or move.

hey hey! someone tell me to write! say something inspiring! I'm staring at a page and feeling overwhelmed. Kick my ass!

Allyson, you could potentially be writing the definitive book on MEverse fandom, a book to which all other fandom books which will be compared. Hop to it.

Just write it and don't worry if it sucks. You can edit it as much as you want later. And I often find that if you force yourself to write even though it's hard and painful and you're sure every sentence sucks, by the third or fourth page you often get into the flow and can write to whatever is your normal first-draft standard.

I think I don't understand, Susan. The only excellence I can achieve in photography is subjective, or at least in comparison to just my own portfolio.

Actual photographic excellence? Outside my reach. It sounds like you're describing your skating the same way.

And one last mememe post for now.

I feel like I'm trying to explain three separate, though related issues:

1. Excellence: To me, the whole idea of striving for excellence is central to who I am, and I (mostly) set my own standards for it. I know which authors I think are the best, and it's about half objective (e.g. mastery of craft) and half subjective (writing the kind of books I most like to read). And I intend to either attain that level of excellence for myself, or come as close to it as my efforts and talents will take me. The opinions of others matter for this insofar as they're the best measure of whether my writing actually works--of course I know what I'm trying to say, but unless my readers can connect with it, or connect with something in it that resonates with their own experience, it's kinda pointless.

2. Competitiveness: Yes, I'm hella competitive. But writing doesn't really lend itself to being the one-and-only champion of anything. So I'm mostly competing against myself and the goals I've set.

3. Ego-validation: Definitely an issue I need to work on. But, dammit, it's fun to impress people with my writing, just like it's gratifying when the other altos want to sit next to me for sight-reading or someone raves about my chocolate chip pumpkin bread. Only it's even more of a rush, because writing is closer to my soul than singing or cooking.

(I feel like I'm not explaining what I mean by excellence well at all, but right now I'm typing one-handed with a fussy squirmy demanding child on my lap, so it's probably fruitless to try just now.)

hey hey! someone tell me to write! say something inspiring! I'm staring at a page and feeling overwhelmed. Kick my ass!

Write! Allyson! Write, or people who only refer to things like the S/B A/R in the B/R on UPN will get there ahead of you.

(ijs)

Mostly, I'm non-competitive...but once that switch does get flipped, watch out. I try not to do it cause I get scary. Seriously.(And I get crushed about losing once I decide I have to win so that's another reason. )