(Oh, P-C, if you have one of the Otherland books, Nic and I are both in the acknowledgments; I researched it for him.)

Wow.

"I work up, and found I had a craving for sugar. Lacing up my shoes, I went out in search of breakfast. An hour later...Mmmmm, hot coffee with half a shot of cream in it. Mmmm, sweet cakes with syrup."

The hell? That sounds like something out of a high school creative writing class. Granted, it's out of context and maybe the style works somehow, but...uh. And for the hell of it, I'm going to rewrite it, without trying very hard, mind you:

"The morning found me with a craving for sugar, and no desire to actually make anything. I think the Coffeemaker was broken anyway. I'd thrown it at a squirrel.

The diner down the street has the most amazing coffee. Their half a shot of cream is exactly four fluid ounces. Despite my craving for sugar, I paradoxically took my coffee without it. Instead, I took it in the form of pancakes drenched in syrup. A little too drenched. My pants, it seemed, also had a craving for sugar.

It was going to be one of those days."

P-C, I now want to read what happens next.

The squirrel comes back for revenge and bites him in the nuts. The end.

P-C, I don't think I was clear. He isn't asking for feedback; to him, the novel is finished, it's perfect, he wants hooking up because his perfect finished novel hasn't attracted one bite in ten years.

He isn't asking for feedback; to him, the novel is finished, it's perfect

Oh, as usual, dear.

Oh, I understood you. I was rewriting for my own fun.

I was rewriting for my own fun.

Ah. Well, yours is certainly light years better than his, but I am very fierce about first person; it's very hard to do properly, very difficult to put on that character and speak through them without putting yourself into it, your own issues, your own joys and sorrows. That can be done properly, or it can be done messily. It's one of the trickiest balancing acts in writing fiction.

And the problem - or one of them - is that you'd better have a damned strong story to tell, if you're saying to the reader, come with me.

I am very fierce about first person; it's very hard to do properly, very difficult to put on that character and speak through them without putting yourself into it, your own issues, your own joys and sorrows. That can be done properly, or it can be done messily. It's one of the trickiest balancing acts in writing fiction.

Absolutely. I generally find it's easier to sustaing first person for a short story or drabble. Once it gets over a thousand words, it becomes unfun.

I heart victor. I'm going to mimeograph copies of that and hand it out with candy to all my little star-struck students.

And deb, some of the people you get simpering up to you frighten me.

Oh, and I know it's not in this thread, but yay for Herself!

My first official novel -as in, offered on by a publisher - was in first person; she was a 12th century Welsh girl who lived in drag, as a man, because the times didn't provide for women being goldsmiths. It had to do with her being hired by Eleanor of Acquitaine to find Richard after he was kidnapped after the first Crusade.