Allyson, if you don't mind a suggestion? Get a nice broad spectrum of readers; that way, if you find synchronicities of opinion (three of seven readers say, hmmm, that fourth paragraph made me blink and have to go back), they become something you should probably look at.

Okey! Will be sending, shortly. And thank you. This is much appreciated, more than I can express, really.

This is much appreciated, more than I can express, really.

Heh. Actually, expression is easy; just include a big 'thank-you to my beta readers' on the acknowledgments page when the book comes out.

I'm always up for delivering a good thrashing, if you want to enlarge your spectrum. I might not get to it until I get back from New York, though.

Count me in too! Profile addy is good.

Allyson, you're probably getting more opinions that you'd ever want at this point, but if you want one more, I'm game.

Allyson, I'm using "track changes" in Word. Can your software read it (the changes or notes are in red on the screen)? Or should I italicize, or do notes with asterisks as place markers? Track changes is actually easier, if your computer supports it.

ETA: Incoming, Allyson. Let me know if there's a problem reading my notes.

Allyson, insending. My notes, queries etc are in the email itself. Let me know if you'd like more done, on this or future pieces.

I ocasionally forget how much fun it is to beta-read a well-written piece. The Bad Novel Couple are forever embedded in my nightmares...

I got wonderful feedback, that I really needed, and appreciate. What I'm looking for now, is how this made you feel. Is it boring? Does it make you want to read more? Did it make you laugh? That sort of thing.

Allyson, the problem for me is that, already knowing the story, and the people, and in fact, having been involved with this particular matter and this particular move cross-country (we charted the route and stored her belongings), it's hard to pull out into emotional separation of any kind. That is to say, since I was busy offering to fly to Michigan and beat the shit out the other players involved, what it raises in me is memories.

So, for a genuine answer and a good emotional gauge? I'd want to see another essay, detailing someone or something I wasn't personally involved or invested in at the time.

But certainly not boring, and yes, I would absolutely read more. I felt this essay was a good Chapter One starting point, a great jumping-off place; that should indicate that I wanted a Chapter Two.