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Jayne ,'Objects In Space'

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A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.

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Nutty - Aug 26, 2004 5:47:54 am PDT #6190 of 10001
"Mister Spock is on his fanny, sir. Reports heavy damage."

125 words. For some reason, the theme didn't work its way into my brain till today:

Dogs

The dogs are barking. They are under the table, squashed into a pair of scuffed wingtips. Their owner is pouring himself a drink, gin the old way.

Gin quaffed, television turned to cable shout-news, the evening is settling in and there is no reason not to set the dogs free. Heel-toe, heel-toe, and the wingtips clatter across the linoleum. With boozy, theatrical elaboration, toes grasp at the opposite ankle and peel a moist sock down, awkward at the joint, inside-out as the mushroomy foot emerges.

Bare toes switch up to the besocked ankle. Granddad has forgotten he no longer lives alone. His granddaughter lopes into the house, bright-faced, long-limbed, and drops her keys on the table. “What stinks?” she asks, loud over the shout-news, confounding in her adroit gracelessness.

Allyson - Aug 26, 2004 7:32:08 am PDT #6191 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

Wait, people will read and give feedback? Would anyone mind doing this for me? I'm not looking for an ego stroke, I would like honest, even harsh criticism, so I can make sure I'm not an a mediocrity track.

Would anyone be willing to give one essay a read and give me the thorough thrashing of my life, if it so deems a thrashing?

deborah grabien - Aug 26, 2004 7:35:00 am PDT #6192 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Allyson, sure. I would be wrecked without my beta readers. Send it on if you want private, which if you're looking to publish later is the best way (avoiding copyright and previously-pubbed questions).

Beverly - Aug 26, 2004 7:35:02 am PDT #6193 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

Be an honor, Allyson. Profile addy's good.

Steph L. - Aug 26, 2004 7:36:02 am PDT #6194 of 10001
I look more rad than Lutheranism

Allyson, I'd be happy to. You can shoot it to my profile addy if you're interested.

Katerina Bee - Aug 26, 2004 7:37:06 am PDT #6195 of 10001
Herding cats for fun

I will happily read anything Allyson writes.

Also, when I start up my own cable channel and sign Firefly as my star attraction, I plan to beg Allyson on bended knee to herd writers and TV executives for me.

(I plan to tempt her with a fabulous salary)

Lilty Cash - Aug 26, 2004 7:39:22 am PDT #6196 of 10001
"You see? THAT's what they want. Love, and a bit with a dog."

I'd love to if you need one more. Profile addy is good.

Ginger - Aug 26, 2004 7:40:39 am PDT #6197 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

I'd be happy to read it, Allyson. Profile addy's good.

Anne W. - Aug 26, 2004 8:05:41 am PDT #6198 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

Allyson, it sounds as if you have a wealth of betas, but if you want yet another opinion, feel free to send to my profile addy.

deborah grabien - Aug 26, 2004 8:11:27 am PDT #6199 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Allyson, if you don't mind a suggestion? Get a nice broad spectrum of readers; that way, if you find synchronicities of opinion (three of seven readers say, hmmm, that fourth paragraph made me blink and have to go back), they become something you should probably look at.

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