but in a

bold sudden

tympani of color,

russet and gold and flame.

I adore the first three lines of this section, Steph - the 'tympani of color' wins a "oh, yeah, of course, that's what it's like except I've never used those words before" from me. I'd fool with the last line, though. It feels a little... mannered? It doesn't have the same flow.

I like it, though. It does a good job of evoking that first week of real chill, when it's still a new and fabulous thing.

Poetry is fun.

Sometimes. Sometimes it's just a job. And sometimes it's like bleeding from the eyes.

Very nice. I like both the phrasing and the concept.

Test for possible future poetry posting

Checking for line breaks.

edit: hmph. OK, how do you do line breaks? I checked the quick-edit.

Line breaks are made by hitting only one return at the end of a line, and putting < br > (w/o spaces) at the end of the line.

So this (w/o spaces in the brackets):

Here is < br >
how you < br >
do it.

Would look like this:

Here is
how you
do it.

Is this
the way?

Edit: t cue mr. burns EH-xcellent.

Big news that may go nowhere! Circle of Confusion, the agents that sold "the Matrix", amongst others, havee asked to read my newest screenplay! Odds are nothing of note will happen, but it's still the biggest agent so far to respond to me!

There is much Snoopy dancing abounding.

victor - - that's great! It's hope - - you know - - much better than no response or a form letter.

yay, victor. I expect to say "I knew you when!" except for the not actually meeting part.

Thanks sumi and Erikaj. I am very excited. It'll probably come to nothing, but it's a pretty big door to have gotten through. (: