Is this
the way?
Edit: t cue mr. burns EH-xcellent.
It's all about the coat.
Host ,'Conviction (1)'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Connie Neil - Oct 11, 2002 12:33:50 pm PDT #64 of 10001
brillig
victor infante - Oct 11, 2002 1:24:30 pm PDT #65 of 10001
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.
Big news that may go nowhere! Circle of Confusion, the agents that sold "the Matrix", amongst others, havee asked to read my newest screenplay! Odds are nothing of note will happen, but it's still the biggest agent so far to respond to me!
There is much Snoopy dancing abounding.
sumi - Oct 11, 2002 1:29:34 pm PDT #66 of 10001
Art Crawl!!!
victor - - that's great! It's hope - - you know - - much better than no response or a form letter.
erikaj - Oct 11, 2002 1:50:24 pm PDT #67 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
yay, victor. I expect to say "I knew you when!" except for the not actually meeting part.
victor infante - Oct 11, 2002 3:14:49 pm PDT #68 of 10001
To understand what happened at the diner, we shall use Mr. Papaya! This is upsetting because he's the friendliest of fruits.
Thanks sumi and Erikaj. I am very excited. It'll probably come to nothing, but it's a pretty big door to have gotten through. (:
Jesse - Oct 11, 2002 3:16:22 pm PDT #69 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Yay, Victor!
Beverly - Oct 11, 2002 9:00:00 pm PDT #70 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
raising glass
To Victor!
draining glass. refilling. Hell with the glass.
Fay - Oct 12, 2002 7:15:23 pm PDT #71 of 10001
"Fuck Western ideologically-motivated gender identification!" Sulu gasped, and came.
Go Team Victor!!!
Sooo totally not writing anything at present. V. sad.
A teeny tiny unpolished poem from some 6 or 7 years ago. I apologise most profusely if it makes anyone bleed from the eyes, but I've never had anyone help me out with the poetry thing. Moderately tactful advice greeted with gratitude. I'm buggered if I know what to do with the punctuation for this. I know how it sounds, but the punctuation is hit and miss. Anyway:
Echoes
Delicate:
the brush of lashes against lips;
my breath upon your skin.
Tender:
the pressure of warm walls of flesh;
passion lying languid in a tangle of limbs.
Beverly - Oct 13, 2002 2:08:54 pm PDT #72 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Faylove, I'd lose both 'the's and the 'lying' in the last line. Much better rhythm. Read it aloud, you'll see.
I can feel it, sense the drowsy warmth, smell the slightly bed-fugginess. Would expect no less from you.
Edit--I'm a fan of line breaks as punctuation. They seem to have done the work for you here, you don't really need semis and commas and the like. Line breaks work just fine, IMO
Liese S. - Oct 14, 2002 10:17:23 am PDT #73 of 10001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."
Bev gives the best edit ever. Just appreciation of this thread and its denizens.