Was a lot of that in second person? Doing that smoothly is a real feat.

I was GMing, and my particular RPG focused on not 'directing' the player, so no. That is to say, I could never have my background say 'You do this or see a grue'...I couldn't force their roleplay. I could just put in the details (and the grue, as applicable), and the player could choose whether the character noticed or not, and roleplay (and possibly get eaten) accordingly. Or hack, hack, slash, hack, whatever.

Perhaps it's best if I never go back to role-playing. I saw the phrase "Hack and Slash", and my Bitchy brain immediately said, "Hm, first the swordfight, then the sex, could be fun."

Hi, everyone. I've got a character who has to decide not to kill herself(cause if she goes through with it, the story will be too short and it will undermine my message, anyway.)I know, sort of from experience, that wanting to live can be sort of a gradual realization, but what would that first moment look like. She's young and single, no kids.

It can be something really, really stupid. Like "If I survive till my next birthday, I'll buy myself that trip to Spain."

It can be something really, really stupid. Like "If I survive till my next birthday, I'll buy myself that trip to Spain."

Something direct and mundane and concrete is good. Like, Anya's fruit punch scene in "The Body." "Shit, I'll never have peanut M&Ms again! Forget it!"

A fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies could make the difference for me.

Yeah, that was where I was going, but you guys are better at focusing it than I had been. Thanks.

It can be something really, really stupid. Like "If I survive till my next birthday, I'll buy myself that trip to Spain."

Just to add... it can also be something like "But if I screw up and survive, how'm I going to explain it?"

I think the thing about moving from suicide is starting to see the future. To be able to visualize something for yourself beyond the pain and despair that has you wanting to be done with it all. Suicide comes out of a lack of (perceived) options. Leaving it comes from realizing there are other things that could happen, and that you can choose one of those other things.

That's what the triggers that everyone else is talking about are. They're what make you see that outer world. They're what make you aware of the possibility of otherness.

There could also be the realization that you don't want to actually die, that it's not the end of your life you want but the end of this painful existance, that what you really want is some way to be reborn into a life that is new and better and painfree. And dying isn't going to give you that option.