Is it worse than Arabella? Or Wentworth?

OK, where did we get the concept of better or worse? Because that's not what I was talking about. And I wouldn't name a kid either of those, but I'm talking about length. If Anfernee's teachers let him write "A. Hardaway" atop all his schoolwork, he was probably fine. But the full, clutch-the-pencil and print your name scrawl of a long first name and a long last name, is hard on a kid. See below.

ita, you grew up with a three-letter first name, nice and easy to write out. Not a question of being hard to spell - a question of being long. For the first eleven or so years of my life, I had to write out my first and middle names, until one day in English class something clicked and I threw the pencil on the floor and stormed out of the room in tears. I've long since lost the middle name, and won't go into it here. But ask yourself: when you're maybe seven years old, would you rather have to sit and fill out every piece of homework, sometimes a dozen times a day, with, say, "Mary Jones" or "Annamaria Sophialisa McGillacuddy"? Don't know about you, but I'd have traded my familial insistence on my using first and middle names as a kid for your three-letter first name any day of the week. I finally refused to go back to school unless they re-registered me. Feh.

The Susans I went to school with had to deal with a lot of rib-digging.

Why?

I do think there are stupid names, but mostly those are Vagina and Halitosis.

having known a Sunshine, a Moonbeam and (honestly) a Lingam and a Yoni? Yup. So I repeat, why do parents do that to their kids?

I dislike the NaKeishya school of naming a lot too, but I can't knock it. It's just not my tribe.

Oh, I'm not talking about that - I used Anfernee Hardaway specifically because we were talking about him specifically. And where I was going was, he not only has the long full name, his nickname (Penny) is almost exclusively a female-specific nicknamre in the US, which is where he grew up. So his parents seem to have gone out of his way to make it harder for him.

Deb, I guess I've never heard an Elisabeth or a Catherine complain about having to write a long name. I had no idea it was such a travail.

I fairly often used my full name, which clocks in at 19 letters. It honestly never bothered me.

Why?

Because kids can be really nasty, and if kid x is going to be teased, they're going to be teased. Name, hair colour, clothes, parents' car, breath, anything.

is nickname (Penny) is almost exclusively a female-specific nicknamre in the US, which is where he grew up. So his parents seem to have gone out of his way to make it harder for him.

Did they nickname him Penny?

I've had people opine that weird names are parents making it hard for their kids. Mine didn't make it hard for me. Hers made it hard for my sister, but she's now glad they did.

So I'm very hypersensitive to the "don't do that to your kids!" reaction to naming. I love my name to pieces, and am glad my parents are clueless.

I like my unusually-spelled name, and am not at all sorry I have it, but my children (should I have any) will have the most common spelling of their name - and may well get a name with only one popularly-known spelling. Because damn if it's not irritating to actually spell K-a-t-h-e-r-i-n and then watch them put the e on the end.

Because kids can be really nasty, and if kid x is going to be teased, they're going to be teased. Name, hair colour, clothes, parents' car, breath, anything.

No, no. I totally agree - that was kinda my point. I mean, why the Susans, specifically, rather than, say, the Roberts or the Lindas? What was it about Susan that triggered?

First I heard about Anfernee Hardaway was during the draft. And the local affilliate announcers, even as they were discussing who was going to go high up in the first round, were saying how he was probably a good tough player, since growing up as a boy called "Penny", well...

I have no problems with "weird" names. Not sure what qualifies as "weird", although I think, like you, that naming your child "Punchbottom" or "Marmaduke" - or naming your daughter Harvey - is going to add to the already-tough reality of being a kid.

Last thing? I see your nineteen letters when you wrote out your full name and raise you an additional 13 letters. Also? Fucking teachers insisted on CALLING me by both names.

It sucked really really relly really big donkey dicks. To the point, in fact, that I legally lost the middle name.

We have a problematic last name, little-known ethnic, and some people just flat refuse to try it. I've been called familiarly by my first name by people whom I'd rather not do that, because they're afraid to assay the pronunciation of Ms. Um. I usually respond to the first syllable, because I'm not cruel enough to wait and see how they're going to struggle through it.

We gave the first child an at-that-time rarely used but ordinary name with available diminutives firstname, his father's ethnic given name as a middle name. We always used the full name firstname. The second we named an ethnic firstname with an easy translation, a frequent family name from my side as the middle name, and we always used the full firstname. We told them both they were welcome to use diminutives or translations, whatever they preferred. The eldest opted for a one-syllable dim of his familiar but now overused firstname. The second dug in his heels and kept the unfamiliar first, and has corrected pronunciation and spelling on first and last throughout his life since kindergarten.

Kids is different, and some will kvetch over their name, some will glory in the distinction. There's no sure way to please them. I hated Beverly--growing up the only other Beverly I--or anyone of my aquaintance--knew was a man. An old, ugly man. I wanted to be Brenda, Linda, Lynn or Sue. Now I'm comfortable with my name.

What was it about Susan that triggered?

Nothing at all, which was my point. Some Susans names may have figured in, but for others it was something else.

My 19 letters is less than yours, but more than Anfernee Hardaway. Which is why I don't really see his plight. Bear in mind I'm related to someone who goes by Wentworth Harry Hugent Sylvester Constantine George Augustus St. Elmer Mundle. You name your kid "Kick Me" and you're setting them up for a mess. Admittedly, I'm glad my parents didn't go with the alternate of Aliki. But leaking versus eating? Kids would probably have fucked with me just the same amount.

Bev, I think most people will in fact grow into their names, because they do become such a major part of self-definition. Your mileage may and likely will vary on this one.

(deep breath)

My middle name - one of two, mind you - was Jheahinnè. (Except that the accent was an acute). Pronounced "ZHA-hann-ay", long A on the first syllable, a la "hay". Fucking stupidest name ever - came out of nowhere, means nothing, not real. Apprently? Designed to humiliate a small child by watching teachers desperately trying to pronounce it or spell it. Plus, ME having to struggle with correcting everyone and writing it out. Sod that.

It is legally history. I changed it to Jeanne, and lost the second middle name - Darius, for fuck's sake, and who in sweet hell names a little girl Darius? - in the process.

edit: ita, I make your first and last names together out to be eleven letters - exactly one letter more than just the stupid middle name they saddled my ass with. What am I missing?

What am I missing?

I'm not sure. I'm only saying that Anfernee's not that bad, not talking about your name woes.

I'm still chewing on the concept that something in the name "Susan" triggered mob meanness in her classmates. Because usually, there's something that can be made mean - a line from Ruth Rendell's "A Demon in my View" comes to mind, in which the kids tease a future (and fatherless) serial killer in a London schoolyard, by chanting "Cowardy cowardy custard! Johnson is a bastard!" So the idea of a group of kids relentlessly hounding someone with a very common first name is doing weird things to my head.

Bear in mind I'm related to someone who goes by Wentworth Harry Hugent Sylvester Constantine George Augustus St. Elmer Mundle.

But did he have to write that entire string out a dozen times a day, at the top of every page of his schoolwork? Or did he opt for "Harry" or something? And when he was called to the chalkboard to do a math problem, did he have to write "Wentworth Harry Hugent Sylvester Constantine George Augustus St. Elmer Mundle" over everything? Because my thing is, if I know my kid is going to have to do that, I give the kid the option or a three or four-syllable name. After all, they can always decide on the full regalia later on.

I'm not sure.

I mean, the math. "ita" is three letters and your surname is eight letters. Where did the other eight letters come from - did you use a middle name, as well? And if so, were you made to do that, or did you choose to do that?

So the idea of a group of kids relentlessly hounding someone with a very common first name is doing weird things to my head.

With me, it was "Frus-ter-ated Ka-tie!" That was third grade. (I would've been hounded anyway, though, and I suspect that was ita's point - it had nothing in particular to do with my name.)

That was also the year that I bopped Brad Murray over the head with a recorder in music class, though, so I have some good memories.