Deletes in // // and additions in (( )). Mind you, I haven't the faintest clue about your subject, so if I ruin the line of thought, ignore me.
While doing research at the REU at Cal Poly this past summer, I worked on a progam in Maple to produce Mahonian statistics for various placement rules. I had worked out programs for most of the simple rules, but the more complicated ones gave me trouble. One Friday afternoon, I //figured out how to get the program to run properly. I// started inputting some numbers as the variables, and I generated a fairly large table of output. My partner and I spent a few hours analyzing this data, //and we came up with a few conjectures based on the patterns we saw. Some of the patterns we saw were approximately what we had expected,// but //others// ((some of the patterns)) didn’t seem to make much sense.
((As)) My partner and I discussed the problem //over dinner. I commented that the numbers just didn’t make sense.// ((,)) I went over the algorithm for the program in my head, trying to figure out why that process was producing those numbers. Then I realized//:// ((that)) the algorithm I was considering actually wasn’t the one in the program. I’d included an incremental in one loop when it should have been in a different one. The data we had been analyzing all afternoon were completely invalid.
I decided that I’d take some time over the weekend to work out the flowchart for the program, and then fix the code Monday morning. I finished the flowchart by Saturday night, //and figured that I’d take some time off to go into town on Sunday.// ((but by)) Sunday morning//, though,// I realized that I couldn’t just let the incorrect program and data sit on the hard drive when I knew how to fix it. ((Or maybe something like: "but by Sunday I was itching to fix the code" For some more urgency)) I went to my office and corrected the code, then ran enough input through to have a fairly good output table and a conjecture to discuss with my partner and our advisor Monday morning.
I think that that sort of drive to make things work and make sense is why I am so interested in math. I love the feeling of completing a proof and getting all the variables to fall into their proper places, and I’m willing to work hard and puzzle over things until I can figure them out.
One of the reasons that Berkeley is my first-choice school is the option to concentrate in Foundations of Mathematics and the strong logic program. The course that I’ve found the most interesting as an undergraduate was a graduate-level course I took in mathematical foundations of science. My first-semester project for Senior Seminar deals with lattices and order, and I plan to base my second-semester thesis on some topic in foundations of math. Also, I have been president of the Tulane branch of Women in Science since sophomore year. I’ve appreciated the support structure this organization created, and I’ve tried to have at least one program dealing with women in mathematics each year, so I would be very interested in being involved with the Noetherian Ring. ((Comment: This paragraph is more difficult, but I think you could drop the sentence about the graduate-level course? And maybe drop the phrase in the last sentence about having programs dealing with women. Depends on how important that is to you.))
Don't know if this halves your word count, but I hope it gives you some ideas to work with. Good luck!