Testing to see if we can actually do strikeout tags here: deleted stuff regular stuff inserted stuff
Angel: I appreciate you guys looking out for Connor all summer. It's just—he's confused. He needs time. That's all. Fred: Right. Time, and some corporal punishment with a large heavy mallet. Not that I'm bitter.
'Just Rewards (2)'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
John H - Nov 16, 2002 4:00:18 pm PST #296 of 10001
Ms. Havisham - Nov 16, 2002 4:04:21 pm PST #297 of 10001
And we will call it... "This Land."
Testing to see if we can actually do strikeout tags here: deleted stuff regular stuff inserted stuff
Heh. I've joined some online crit groups - the //(())// habit's pretty well ingrained by now. If it's confusing, my apologies.
John H - Nov 16, 2002 4:09:31 pm PST #298 of 10001
Oh, no implied criticism at all, sorry, didn't mean it that way. I was just wondering aloud if strikeout was a legal tag.
Hil R. - Nov 16, 2002 4:10:32 pm PST #299 of 10001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Thanks, Ms. H. I've gone through and made just about all the revisions you suggested, and then found a bunch more things that should be taken out based on RL and John's comments. I think i've gotten the beginning part down to reasonable length now, so that it doesn't become the whole focus of the essay. (I think I'm going to leave in the part about women in science, because just about every math department web page has a huge "WE STRONGLY ENCOURAGE APPLICATIONS FROM WOMEN AND MINORITIES" message, and a few of my professors have said that being female will give me an edge. One of the people I'm sending the next draft of this to is a friend of the family who's a professor at UVA, so I'll ask him what he thinks I should do with that.)
Hil R. - Nov 16, 2002 4:13:22 pm PST #300 of 10001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Y'know what? I think I can get the whole opening thing down to about four sentences, which would make it more of an "opening" and less of a "thing that's taking over the entire essay," and then I'll have a bunch of room to get in more specific stuff about what I've done and why I like Berkeley.
Rebecca Lizard - Nov 16, 2002 4:20:02 pm PST #301 of 10001
You sip / say it's your crazy / straw say it's you're crazy / as you bicycle your soul / with beauty in your basket
That sounds excellent to me.
I think Rebecca and I agree. But we always agree, right?
Except about schools and trannies, yes.
John H - Nov 16, 2002 4:23:41 pm PST #302 of 10001
Except about schools and trannies, yes.
That's it. We disagree only about groups of fish and radios.
Want to launch AIM?
Rebecca Lizard - Nov 16, 2002 4:24:38 pm PST #303 of 10001
You sip / say it's your crazy / straw say it's you're crazy / as you bicycle your soul / with beauty in your basket
Wouldn't you rather call? I just sent you an email. Let me know and I'll get offline.
John H - Nov 16, 2002 4:28:25 pm PST #304 of 10001
Oh the archness. Do people hate us for doing this?
I wasn't smart enough to understand your email, with the harry potter and the timezones and the too-much-coffee, not-enough-sleep.
I have to go to the shops. Give me 20 minutes.
Hil R. - Nov 16, 2002 4:38:50 pm PST #305 of 10001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Thanks for the help, everyone. I'm really terrible at these application essays. College was easy, because most of them were just "describe a significant event in your life" or something, and I could just revise things I'd already written for writing classes, but these are much harder. I'm working on rewriting now.