Synopsis example #2:

THE FAMOUS FLOWER OF SERVING MEN: SYNOPSIS

When Penelope Wintercraft-Hawkes, founder and director of the Tamburlaine Players Theatre Troupe, gets a December phone call from an unknown solicitor telling her she's come into property, she thinks it's a joke. But it's no more than the truth: an elderly French aunt Penny never even met has died and bequeathed her niece not only a rundown Victorian playhouse in London's EC4 district, but enough money to bring the theatre, the Bellefield, back to its glory days.

Penny hires her longtime companion, historic property restoration expert and leading light of the British traditional music scene, Ringan Laine, to restore the Bellefield to peak form. As Ringan hires workmen and oversees the onset of the restoration project, Penny and the Tamburlaine Players begin rehearsals for the Bellefield's opening production: Euripides' Iphigenia, a play Penny has felt driven to produce since walking through the Bellefield's front doors.

But when Ringan tests the theatre's sound system with a recording of a classic folk song, "The Famous Flower of Serving Men", he's made aware of the presence of an angry, violent spirit in the Bellefield. Penny hears a voice, first whispering, then screaming, in French. The Bellefield fills with invisible smoke. And when a workman dies on the premises, it becomes clear that only by tracking down the truth about the Bellefield's ghost will the theatre ever be usable in safety.

The story that unfolds is one of murder, incest, and conscience. It takes all Ringan and Penny's experience and expertise, and the help of a few extraordinary friends, to put a name to the violent madwoman who haunts the Bellefield Theatre, and beyond, and to lay her to rest.

THE FAMOUS FLOWER OF SERVING MEN is the second novel in the Ringan Laine series.

x-post.

OK. In re leaving out half the plot? You don't want the plot in there.

This is a summary of the salient points of the story - why an agent or an editor should want to read it. "Moving left foot, moving right foot" won't do it; the idea is to hook their interest. It's a teaser effect.

Want to let me noodle with it for a minute or three?

Want to let me noodle with it for a minute or three?

Sure. I'll work on it, too, and we'll see what we can come up with between us. (It helps just having examples.)

"When Lucy Jones, well-connected daughter of an impoverished London family, is sent to live with her relatives at Swallowfield Manor, she begins a journey that will take her through her understanding of her own feelings."

Something like that (this is totally off the top of my head) to start. Hook us up with who she is, where she is, why we should care about her.

"Lucy, understanding from her first days at Swallowfield that she has a duty to her siblings and to the cousins who have taken her in, nevertheless dreams of better things. Those dreams are fanned by her attachment to her cousin Julius, a soldier with Wellington's forces in the Peninsula."

--

(again, off the headtop. But you've just summed up her expectations, hinted at her hopes, and given us a vital character).

(something in there about Portia, and Lucy being kept in her place)

"When Lucy learns that her cousin's family is now destitute and can no longer provide for her, she agrees to marry James Wright..."

(describe him as you want the agent to see him)

Here's my start....

LUCY AND MR. WRIGHT: SYNOPSIS

When poor relation Lucy Jones travels to Gloucestershire to attend her cousin Portia’s wedding, she thinks she understands the world and her place in it.

Raised to be a governess, she is ready to do her duty, but still dreams of marrying her cousin Julius, a handsome cavalry officer temporarily home from the wars. She is a dutiful niece to the aunt who raised her, and a loyal sister determined to ensure that her many younger brothers and sisters have a chance at a decent start in life.

When her aunt and cousins suffer reversals that make them nearly as poor as she is, Lucy enters a marriage of convenience with James Wright, a handsome and wealthy young man she’s know for less than a month. From what she’s seen of him, she isn’t all that impressed—James is proud and impulsive, and has been flirting outrageously with her cousin Portia practically from the moment they met.

YES.

Damned close to perfect.

Cool. Here's the whole package, that I have so far. Is this enough:

LUCY AND MR. WRIGHT: SYNOPSIS

When poor relation Lucy Jones travels to Gloucestershire to attend her cousin Portia’s wedding, she thinks she understands the world and her place in it.

Raised to be a governess, she is ready to do her duty, but still dreams of marrying her cousin Julius, a handsome cavalry officer temporarily home from the wars. She is a dutiful niece to the aunt who raised her, and a loyal sister determined to ensure that her many younger brothers and sisters have a chance at a decent start in life.

When her aunt and cousins suffer reversals that make them nearly as poor as she is, Lucy enters a marriage of convenience with James Wright, a handsome and wealthy young man she’s know for less than a month. From what she’s seen of him, she isn’t all that impressed—James is arrogant and impulsive, and has been flirting outrageously with her cousin Portia practically from the moment they met. And while he’s extremely intelligent and pleasant company, she can’t help but compare him unfavorably to Julius.

Before this Cinderella and her Prince Charming can find their happily ever after, James must learn to compromise and to admit that he occasionally makes mistakes. Lucy must open her eyes and recognize that love isn’t always a simple and sweet emotion.

"It isn't always about holding hands"!!!!

Damn. Perfect synopsis.

Ready to go, I think.