x-post.

OK. In re leaving out half the plot? You don't want the plot in there.

This is a summary of the salient points of the story - why an agent or an editor should want to read it. "Moving left foot, moving right foot" won't do it; the idea is to hook their interest. It's a teaser effect.

Want to let me noodle with it for a minute or three?

Want to let me noodle with it for a minute or three?

Sure. I'll work on it, too, and we'll see what we can come up with between us. (It helps just having examples.)

"When Lucy Jones, well-connected daughter of an impoverished London family, is sent to live with her relatives at Swallowfield Manor, she begins a journey that will take her through her understanding of her own feelings."

Something like that (this is totally off the top of my head) to start. Hook us up with who she is, where she is, why we should care about her.

"Lucy, understanding from her first days at Swallowfield that she has a duty to her siblings and to the cousins who have taken her in, nevertheless dreams of better things. Those dreams are fanned by her attachment to her cousin Julius, a soldier with Wellington's forces in the Peninsula."

--

(again, off the headtop. But you've just summed up her expectations, hinted at her hopes, and given us a vital character).

(something in there about Portia, and Lucy being kept in her place)

"When Lucy learns that her cousin's family is now destitute and can no longer provide for her, she agrees to marry James Wright..."

(describe him as you want the agent to see him)

Here's my start....

LUCY AND MR. WRIGHT: SYNOPSIS

When poor relation Lucy Jones travels to Gloucestershire to attend her cousin Portia’s wedding, she thinks she understands the world and her place in it.

Raised to be a governess, she is ready to do her duty, but still dreams of marrying her cousin Julius, a handsome cavalry officer temporarily home from the wars. She is a dutiful niece to the aunt who raised her, and a loyal sister determined to ensure that her many younger brothers and sisters have a chance at a decent start in life.

When her aunt and cousins suffer reversals that make them nearly as poor as she is, Lucy enters a marriage of convenience with James Wright, a handsome and wealthy young man she’s know for less than a month. From what she’s seen of him, she isn’t all that impressed—James is proud and impulsive, and has been flirting outrageously with her cousin Portia practically from the moment they met.

YES.

Damned close to perfect.

Cool. Here's the whole package, that I have so far. Is this enough:

LUCY AND MR. WRIGHT: SYNOPSIS

When poor relation Lucy Jones travels to Gloucestershire to attend her cousin Portia’s wedding, she thinks she understands the world and her place in it.

Raised to be a governess, she is ready to do her duty, but still dreams of marrying her cousin Julius, a handsome cavalry officer temporarily home from the wars. She is a dutiful niece to the aunt who raised her, and a loyal sister determined to ensure that her many younger brothers and sisters have a chance at a decent start in life.

When her aunt and cousins suffer reversals that make them nearly as poor as she is, Lucy enters a marriage of convenience with James Wright, a handsome and wealthy young man she’s know for less than a month. From what she’s seen of him, she isn’t all that impressed—James is arrogant and impulsive, and has been flirting outrageously with her cousin Portia practically from the moment they met. And while he’s extremely intelligent and pleasant company, she can’t help but compare him unfavorably to Julius.

Before this Cinderella and her Prince Charming can find their happily ever after, James must learn to compromise and to admit that he occasionally makes mistakes. Lucy must open her eyes and recognize that love isn’t always a simple and sweet emotion.

"It isn't always about holding hands"!!!!

Damn. Perfect synopsis.

Ready to go, I think.

Cool. So, since I already emailed her to ask what kind of synopsis she likes, should I just email again and say something like, "Deb and I talked, she said you preferred one-pagers, with that in mind, attached please find the synopsis and first 100 pages for Lucy and Mr. Wright"?

(And thank you thank you thank you for all your help. I promise that when I'm the established expert writer, I'll do the same for others.)