Susan, the quanitity of descriptive seems basically fine to me, because it's a Regency. Georgette Heyer is the gold standard, and you know precisely what everyone's wearing, down to the pink rosettes in their hair. Regency has its own language, I think.
I'd add one comment to the above:
He looked at me properly for the first time, and I noticed his vivid, dark blue eyes. I had never seen such a color before.
This is the only thing in there that pinged me, and only in the presentation. For me, that first bit is awkward, and reads as telling; a rephrase along the lines of
He looked at me properly for the first time, and I noticed his eyes. I had never seen such a color before - they were a dark, vivid, blue.
I don't know why that reads so much more true to voice, but it seems to. Maybe because I dealt with the "long gleaming dark brown tresses" earlier in the week, or possibly because I'm undercoffeed.
I like that--thanks, deb.
I am never going to finish this novel and I am going to be a fucking poseuse all my life.
ARRRRRRRRGH.
Betsy, that's total pants.
You are going to finish it because I am going to stand over you and bully the crap out of you until you do.
Because I have got interested in these two women and I Want To Read What Happens, goddamnit.
{{Betsy}} I wish I had something wise to say other than just sympathy.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure you're not a 'poseuse', whatever that word means (see, I don't even know that!), because from what I got to read from you I think you have a wonderful way of intermingling words and thoughts.
{{Betsy}}
I know exactly how you feel, and often feel the same myself.
Betsy, just so you know, I'm in line behind Deb with the wifflebat.
You know the drill, just keep going, even if it's pants.
So says the woman who has written all of 1,000 words in the last month, all of it madly scribbled in longhand on the bus. Sigh.
Betsy, you will, too, finish. And it will be a fabulous success, I'm sure.
Sorry, Susan, I had gone to bed. Your book does read exactly like a high-quality regency romance, and I love the idea that the hero rides a smaller horse to keep himself "in scale," as it were. I would suggest you research, if you haven't done, whether Arabians were known or prevalent in England at your time period. When they were introduced, I remember reading, they were thought of as deformed-looking and ugly, in comparison with the current breeders' standard. So if James is going to ride an Arabian, you might want to have him do a bit of promotion and or defense for the breed, depending on what your research shows was the prevailing reception at the time for Arabians.
I like Deb's little amendment to Lucy's noticing James' eyes.
Okay, I'll confess that I was reluctant to give specific ages for my characters, because people came to adulthood and died earlier in the 12th century than they do now. If I gave my main character's age as 15, to relate to the modern reader, it would make her 25 or so by her period's standard. Or if I made her 11 or 12, the reader would never believe the actions I attribute to her. I was confused, I was writing AU, I took the coward's way out and ducked the whole question, preferring to infer age by speech and habit.
And, like Susan, I do describe the men more than the women, one character is large and "brown of eye and skin and hair" and one is dark-eyed, with hair curling over his collar, and one is older, with dark hair going silver and pale eyes. And a limp. And one has a shock of russet hair and dark eyes. Another is tall and gaunt, with a dour disposition. I describe him physically because he does loom, at times, and tall, gaunt men loom better than short round ones. Yet another one is described mostly in his grooming habits and dress, but it is mentioned at one point that he is "not much taller than she." Which doesn't give you a firm estimate of exact height, as I never say how tall "she" is, either.
I never actually found it important, and so my two group members' chiding caught me off guard. And I wondered if I'm being obstructionist and they're actually presenting a reasonable request. And if I should provide a few descriptive clues.
I would suggest you research, if you haven't done, whether Arabians were known or prevalent in England at your time period.
It certainly wouldn't hurt me to do more research, but I know they were at least known, since all the Thoroughbred foundations sires were Arabians or Barbs, and that was before my time period. Late 17th or early 18th century, IIRC. So I think they were known and reasonably well-respected, though a purebred would've been rare. I've gotten around that by having Lucy, in one of the bits I cut from the excerpt above, remark on how Ghost is the first Arab she's seen outside of engravings or paintings, and having James purchase Ghost and the second horse he later gives Lucy as a wedding present from a friend who has something of an experimental breeding stable.
