fire extinguisher - that's a really cool gift. ( nope, i don't want one - have one - are planning on a second one actually)

We have six. t /Married to an actuary

billytea! I was just trying to wrangle my vacation time for August -- when, exactly are you going to get to Cincy, and when are you leaving?

Good question. Um, lessee... I arrive in Cincy from Newark at 3:25 pm on August 30. For some reason I'm travelling via Chicago. Was I drunk when I booked that? Ah. It costs less than $150. I was probably just cheap. So I depart the very next day, i.e. Aug 31, for Atlanta, at 7:35 pm. Via Charlotte, that makes more sense than the whole Chicago thing.

Here's an idea: next vacation, book everything so far in advance that by the time it comes around, you've forgotten what you planned and you get to be surprised. For people in a hurry, cranial trauma may achieve the same effect!

"Expected to give cards with money in them at the reception" is fucking crass.

I might be tempted to give a card with a note in it reading "How well do you cope with disappointment?"

Damn - missed BB AS - Jesse? Recap?

I cleaned off one of the pieces of furniture I want to sell.

Now I need to figure out how much paint I need to buy tomorrow.

msbelle, the reception is a sit-down meal plus there's a DJ and dancing, and a photographer AND a videographer, and I'm sure it's all very expensive. She's been complaining for months about how much this was going to cost her; apparently she and her man are paying for it mostly or entirely by themselves, which surprises me. But I hate feeling like an invitation is really a demand for money. I don't like being forced by social pressure to give gifts beyond what I would choose to give.

I don't really know anyone else who's going well enough to ask them money questions, unfortunately. The one person I did mention it to looked at me in horrified disbelief and said, "You didn't know you were supposed to bring a gift?!" I backed off and mumbled something stupid. I have social anxiety already; I'm already freaking just about what to wear; I don't need the added pressure of wondering what I should have done that I didn't do.

I've already given the "gift" portion; that's what sticking me. This gift is supposed to be CASH, in an envelope, which either she's going to come around and collect, or we're going to hand them in some sort of procession line, either way it will be painfully obvious to everyone who brought an envelope full of cash and who didn't. I wish I had the option now to skip it entirely, but I've already RSVPed and it's too late to back out.

I'm just getting a little burned out on work-friend gift-giving. Recently, another work-friend got married, got pregnant on the honeymoon, had the baby, and moved into a new house, and between her bridal shower gift, wedding gift, housewarming gift, and baby shower gifts, and this girl's bridal shower gifts, I've spent nearly $300 this year on people I hardly ever see outside of work. I don't begrudge anything I've already spent, because I didn't have to spend it, but now I feel like I'm being coerced for more, and my purse-strings are starting to pucker up.

To recap: Danielle, now AKA The Black Widow, won the HoH. Now, apparently, she, Will-n-Boogie, and James are going by "the Legion of Doom," which makes me laugh. In the course of the HoH challenge, Marcellus won a week "slop pass," which he gave to George, so that was nice. Danielle put up Janelle and James, on the assumption that between her and James, one of them can win PoV, and make sure Janelle goes out. We'll see how that works for them....

Wow. 3rd episode and FINALLY Design Star gets good.

( It's also the first individual challenge - coincidence?)

if the Imitrex works a little (at least in pill form) you're allowed a second dose two hours in. If it doesn't work at all, you're just hosed.

Yeah, I think I'ma have to fill the prescription she gave me and try again.

I think that you are under NO obligation to give cash at a wedding. At all, whatsoever. Anyone telling you wrong is crass and tacky. Granted, I usually give a check because I'm lazy, but...

However, it is generally accepted that you give a shower gift AND a wedding gift, if you're attending both. And if you don't want to? Don't go. If you don't go, no gift (unless you really wanted to for some reason).

I think the cash thing varies by culture -- region, ethnicity, who knows what else, but some people think it's the only thing to do, and others think it's horrendously tacky.

This gift is supposed to be CASH, in an envelope, which either she's going to come around and collect, or we're going to hand them in some sort of procession line, either way it will be painfully obvious to everyone who brought an envelope full of cash and who didn't.

In your first post, you said something about how you were socially clueless, but I think you got it backwards. I have NEVER heard of a wedding where the bride/groom *expected* a gift t edit (well, most couples probably *do* assume that gifts are going to happen, otherwise they wouldn't register -- but the assumption of receiving gifts isn't something they actually SAY -- it's the *demand* that's tacky, rather than assuming they'll get gifts), much less a gift of cash, much less to the point where they collect it from you personally!

Is that, like, the price of admission, or something? What the HELL?

I wish I had the option now to skip it entirely, but I've already RSVPed and it's too late to back out.

No, it's really not. Just because you RSVPed doesn't mean you can't cancel. Is the wedding at least a week away? That gives them plenty of time to deal with the seating chart.

Honestly, if they're tacky and classless enough to expect that their guests will bring them baskets of cash in some sort of tribute to their eternal love, then I think cancelling your RSVP really isn't particularly a social gaffe.

I have a friend who always gives a fire extinguisher for weddings, under the theory that everyone needs one and not enough people buy them.

I've never heard of this; what a brilliant idea. This is better than the benefit I went to recently where the door gift was a nice, branded umbrella-- seriously, who can't use a nice umbrella? Few buy themselves a nice one because you'll just lose it. Plus, it was raining that night, so we all could use it. And few people mind a branded umbrella. It worked for everyone!

ETA: oh, if it sounds crazy that I'm getting all emotional about an umbrella in reaction to a post about a fire extinguisher, that's because I'm totally drunk.