I have a friend who always gives a fire extinguisher for weddings, under the theory that everyone needs one and not enough people buy them.

I have a friend who always gives a fire extinguisher for weddings, under the theory that everyone needs one and not enough people buy them.

This is so fucking cool. DH would approve.

Is the reception a sit down meal? If so, give the equivilent of the cost of the meal in the card and be done with it. If not, give whatever you feel comfortable with in the card, and that should suffice for a gift.

Huh. I'd say more like $20, tops, given your earlier outlays. Or just a small gift of your choosing.

mini-rant - an invitation is just that, an invitation. Gifts are a bonus. Expectations of gifts make my skin crawl and expectations of money plus gifts is just a lot (especially when shower and engagement and blah blah blahdy blah gifts are also thrown into the mix).

See, I think I'd add the expectation to pony up for the cost of the meal to that rant.

Yeah, I feel no compulsion to "cover my plate," especially when I'm poorer than the people throwing the wedding.

fire extinguisher - that's a really cool gift. ( nope, i don't want one - have one - are planning on a second one actually)

and here is the story of our brand new baby ( ha ) bookcase

[link]

fire extinguisher - that's a really cool gift. ( nope, i don't want one - have one - are planning on a second one actually)

We have six. t /Married to an actuary

billytea! I was just trying to wrangle my vacation time for August -- when, exactly are you going to get to Cincy, and when are you leaving?

Good question. Um, lessee... I arrive in Cincy from Newark at 3:25 pm on August 30. For some reason I'm travelling via Chicago. Was I drunk when I booked that? Ah. It costs less than $150. I was probably just cheap. So I depart the very next day, i.e. Aug 31, for Atlanta, at 7:35 pm. Via Charlotte, that makes more sense than the whole Chicago thing.

Here's an idea: next vacation, book everything so far in advance that by the time it comes around, you've forgotten what you planned and you get to be surprised. For people in a hurry, cranial trauma may achieve the same effect!

"Expected to give cards with money in them at the reception" is fucking crass.

I might be tempted to give a card with a note in it reading "How well do you cope with disappointment?"

Damn - missed BB AS - Jesse? Recap?

I cleaned off one of the pieces of furniture I want to sell.

Now I need to figure out how much paint I need to buy tomorrow.

msbelle, the reception is a sit-down meal plus there's a DJ and dancing, and a photographer AND a videographer, and I'm sure it's all very expensive. She's been complaining for months about how much this was going to cost her; apparently she and her man are paying for it mostly or entirely by themselves, which surprises me. But I hate feeling like an invitation is really a demand for money. I don't like being forced by social pressure to give gifts beyond what I would choose to give.

I don't really know anyone else who's going well enough to ask them money questions, unfortunately. The one person I did mention it to looked at me in horrified disbelief and said, "You didn't know you were supposed to bring a gift?!" I backed off and mumbled something stupid. I have social anxiety already; I'm already freaking just about what to wear; I don't need the added pressure of wondering what I should have done that I didn't do.

I've already given the "gift" portion; that's what sticking me. This gift is supposed to be CASH, in an envelope, which either she's going to come around and collect, or we're going to hand them in some sort of procession line, either way it will be painfully obvious to everyone who brought an envelope full of cash and who didn't. I wish I had the option now to skip it entirely, but I've already RSVPed and it's too late to back out.

I'm just getting a little burned out on work-friend gift-giving. Recently, another work-friend got married, got pregnant on the honeymoon, had the baby, and moved into a new house, and between her bridal shower gift, wedding gift, housewarming gift, and baby shower gifts, and this girl's bridal shower gifts, I've spent nearly $300 this year on people I hardly ever see outside of work. I don't begrudge anything I've already spent, because I didn't have to spend it, but now I feel like I'm being coerced for more, and my purse-strings are starting to pucker up.