had you been home with a parent for all the years prior to Montessori?

I'm trying to remember--there might have been a couple months of daycare in NY before I went to Montessori in Ottawa. But I was notorious for impatiently waiting for my parents to leave, or for abandoning them entirely.

Julia is not unlike that. She did have a fairly short period of crying at pre-school first, though. I started her during Ben's summer before kindergarten, and sent him that summer, so that she'd have him there as a cushion. She was thrilled to be doing what her big brother did. It was way better than being stuck at home with me and the baby. She couldn't have cared less that I left, at first.

A week or two in, she started crying. Then she was fine, and I could barely get a kiss goodbye. She may have had a little bump when Ben left, but not much. About six months later (I think) she started with the crying again, but it was only for a brief span, and her teacher said she'd stop as soon as my car was out of sight.

I was just an anti-social attachment-averse chick. I'm so much better now.

Thanks, David. I can always count on you to bring the reassurance.

It doesn't mean Em is unhappy there. It just means she'd rather be with you and is expressing that in the only way she can.

You know what helps? Having a going-away ritual. At Emmett's pre-school (where he did stop crying at separation) they had a Dutch door where you could say good-bye to your child. You'd leave them inside and tell them to go to the Dutch door, and they'd run around to the back yard and you could say good-bye to them but (a) they couldn't cling to you; and (b) they were surrounded by lots of distracting toys.

The going-away ritual is best when it isn't "Mommy's going bye-bye now" but rather something like you walk Em over to an activity table and start a drawing or stack of blocks or something and reassure her that you're coming back later. Something like that. Eventually the process of going to the table will become reassuring and if you're consistent your child won't try to play the situation because it's just inevitable.

I have nothing to add on the daycare front - I just remember that the nursery school people had a hell of a time getting me to nap.

Sanity check - should I buy these Docs? I need new shoes for my second job and I was saying I'd get a pair of 20-eyelets if I ever get a real bartending gig, so I'm thinking maybe just bite the bullet & get them?

Ya know what is fun? On a day when your body hates you? A fire drill in a full evacuation building. And being floor warden to boot.

I just had the pleasure of kicking everyone out of their office and then hussling down 8 floors to stand around in the cold until they let us go back to work.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Only 38% done with the work that has to happen today.

I was just an anti-social attachment-averse chick. I'm so much better now.

Julia's extra-social, which is why she usually took the, "Yeah goodbye or whatever, I'm busy," point of view.

The going-away ritual is best when it isn't "Mommy's going bye-bye now" but rather something like you walk Em over to an activity table and start a drawing or stack of blocks or something and reassure her that you're coming back later. Something like that. Eventually the process of going to the table will become reassuring and if you're consistent your child won't try to play the situation because it's just inevitable.

I'd like to offer an opposite experience. I found my children interpreted my lingering (even if it was just to talk to the teacher, who was a personal friend) as apprehension (on my part) over leaving them, and it seemed to increase their anxiety.

When they were going through their crying-at-my-departure phases, I found they did better if I left obviously (I hate when parents sneak out on a kid, it seems like dirty pool to me), but fairly quickly and cheerfully. Personally, I think I'd only get into developing a ritual if the separation anxiety continued for a while longer.

I'd like to offer an opposite experience. I found my children interpreted my lingering (even if it was just to talk to the teacher, who was a personal friend) as apprehension (on my part) over leaving them, and it seemed to increase their anxiety.

I don't advocate lingering either. The going away ritual doesn't have to be protracted. When I dropped Emmett off at pre-school it was get in the door, put his lunch in the cubby and head to the Dutch door goodbye.

The going-away ritual is best when it isn't "Mommy's going bye-bye now" but rather something like you walk Em over to an activity table and start a drawing or stack of blocks or something and reassure her that you're coming back later. Something like that. Eventually the process of going to the table will become reassuring and if you're consistent your child won't try to play the situation because it's just inevitable.

This would be awesome, but the teacher gets her from the front door and takes her back.