Mallory was awake from 4:00 am to 5:30 am, so I have had nothing but gronk today. It's almost 7 pm (and still 100 degrees), and I'm still engronkified.

I hate waiting. Friends from Jordan are getting in today and we're supposed to have dinner and they haven't called yet. I'm hungry. Dinner is probably two hours off still.

I'm a little gronked. Em woke up twice last night. The first time I rocked her and sang to her and put her back down, but 45 minutes later she was up again crying for "milky! milky!" In Eminese, this is "please bring me a sippy cup with any liquid in it." I gave her her water sippy and she grabbed it and laid back down. She cuddled it like it was one of her babies. Not a peep out of her the rest of the night.

I changed my alarm last night to 4:45 am (from 4:00 am) and forgot to turn it back on. I woke up at 5:02 on my own.

So wrong. So absolutely wrong.

I'm hungry and forgot to bring any breakfast with me. Blarg.

45 minutes later she was up again crying for "milky! milky!" In Eminese, this is "please bring me a sippy cup with any liquid in it." I gave her her water sippy and she grabbed it and laid back down. She cuddled it like it was one of her babies. Not a peep out of her the rest of the night.

Well, I was doing my homework, so it's not like I was sleeping.

She's started crying for us by name, "Momma! Momma! Daaaaaaaddddddeeeeee!" when she wakes up and goddamn it is the most hearwrenching thing ever ever ever.

Uncut cocksucking for Ple (#8)

A bit more here. They're not going into it in great detail, however.

(Unsurprisingly some of the top hits are coming up in French.)

Tiny Nibbles

Uncircumcised sex Q&A

Veronica's love secrets (beware the audio)

Veronica says: If your partner is uncircumcised, try taking the foreskin covered glans penis fully into your mouth. Retract the foreskin while the glans is inside your mouth by gently and slowly pulling on the skin covering the shaft with your fingers. You can also retract the foreskin by applying firm pressure with your lips to the skin on the shaft while pushing the glans penis deeper into your mouth. Suck on the penis while pressing your tongue upwards against the underside of the glans. Another area to stimulate is the meatus ("pee hole"). Hold the shaft of the penis in your hand and use the tip of your tongue to gently massage the meatus and frenum in a circular motion.

For some reason we were walking around the store doing yoga poses. For those familiar, it was pretty much all Warrior 3 pose. But, Sparky and her DH kept showing me up by being able to reach over their heads and grab the foot that was off the ground. I got so jealous, I woke up.

Sail, I assure you that I cannot grab that foot from Warrior 3 unless I cut my leg off. And I missed last night's yoga practice to go to my book club -- sad about yoga, but SO HAPPY because my book club decided to see Mary Karr and Calvin Trillin at City Arts & Lectures in October, and there were still tickets.

Daisy Jane was here? I had been thinking of her and wondering if she was around because we have to make a trip to Dallas soon...

Gracias, David.

In the end, I went with slightly less detail, but I'll bookmark for future ref.

Poor bedresty frustrated JZ. My mother-of-twins pal had to bedrest, too, and 'twas horrible for both parents. He worked full time and commuted and had to come home and do all the chores while she lay around feeling useless. Keep in mind that once the girls were born, hindsight made this time seem restful and peaceful.

It's funny how a limitation on your activities just makes you want to leap into them all the more. When my MIL spent a few days in the hospital after a scary bleeding ulcer incident, she came home all pale and tired. She looked around the kitchen and said, "Oh dear. Now I have to get out the ladder, climb up to the high shelf, and wash all the owl plates, they're dusty." We were all like, noooooooo! You need to sit down and rest until you feel better.

I had a cousin who, after many miscarriages and with a cervix like tissue paper was consigned to bedrest. When the doctor found out she'd been having meetings (not conference calls--actual meetings with in place attendees) in her bedroom, she was sent to hospital for bedrest there. And not even allowed to get up to pee.

Moral: Behave! No orgasms for you! Bad G-spot! Bad!

It's supposed to let you try out restaurants that would otherwise be out of your price range.

Oh, that's a great idea. I wonder if they've had it here and I didn't notice. I just got a flyer from a new restaurant called Aphrodisiac which has a reputed aphrodisiac in every food on their menu. I need a boyfriend so I can go, but the flyer's not leaving me with much time.