It may not working in all circumstances (esp with PC) but when confronted with unwanted advice Mom's response is to say "You're probably right." (or "You know, you're probably right.") and then ignore all the advice, and leave to get out of the situation.

She says it shuts people up long enough for her to do what she needs to. I'm not sure what she does if the person comes back and the advice hasn't been taken but I think she just repeats some variation of "you were probably right."

Just saw Teppy's new edit. Which works better.

(c) dissemble (go dissembling!); (d) get some therapy and learn important lessons about disengaging from people, and knowing what's Your Shit and what's Their Shit and how to enforce those boundaries (healthiest approach, but it takes a couple years).

As a veteran of some pretty serious family wars (let's just say I ended up with Hec's option (a)), I recommend a combination of (c) and (d) at this point. (c) is what you need to get them out of your face. As you no doubt know from college days, it's surprisingly easy to control the information your family gets when you're living on your own and they don't see you day to day.

But (c) is more viable as a way to buy time than as a longterm strategy. It's too easy to reach the point where the tension becomes too much to handle.

For example, let's say that a couple of year from now, you fall for a lovely woman from Ireland (or anywhere else that makes her non-Gujarati). What do you do? Do you pretend to your family that this big part of your life doesn't exist? Do you leave her behind and visit family alone? And what if there are children?

Which is why, long-term, I recommend (d).

Also, Hec, I saw your post and appreciate it but don't have a good response.

That's fine. Practice your zen detachment and turning aside skills. That's all I'm saying.

P-C, there is also something to be said for the fine are of smiling, nodding, and saying things like, "Thanks, I hadn't thought of that." Not technically lying, ijs.

My response is, "Well, there's an idea."

Also, Teppy is a verra good editor.

Practice your zen detachment and turning aside skills. That's all I'm saying.

Dude, that's what he was doing *to you.*

My response is, "Well, there's an idea."

Heh, that's exactly what I say.

Dude, that's what he was doing *to you.*

Ha ha ha ha.

Practice your zen detachment and turning aside skills. That's all I'm saying.

Dude, that's what he was doing *to you.*

It's working already!

Dude, that's what he was doing *to you.*

He needed the practice.

He needed the practice.